Audition

Tuesday was a day of wearing many hats...mom, librarian, dental patient (just a cleaning), and finally, 'cellist.

After an exhausting day, I arrived at my audition pretty tired. I can't say anyone was happy to see me. At first I felt like I had a scarlet letter on my blouse, as if I accidently entered the wrong room.

After sharing with the personnel manager that I was getting nervous, I relaxed a bit. She said they are just "...looking for warm bodies who can read music. Can you read music?" To that I replied, "I think so."

I sat down in the audition room, in a very non-cello appropriate chair, without a stand and played the first page of the Saint Saens Cello Concerto in A minor. I did fairly well, not having played it for anyone in 25 years. Sightreading was terrible. The first part was a solo line from the William Tell Overature, with which I was less than familiar. I really did not expect that level of music for a community orchestra sightreading audition. Then I had to read the "Lone Ranger" theme part which looks easier than it plays. It requires a richocet bowing technique that I have not used in forever, AND never on my high quality bow. So I'm not only fumbling with the notes, but also with what part of my much better bow to use for the best "richocet effect"!! I got in, so I guess it doesn't matter, except for the blow to my pride.

The rehearsal was rather sort (two hours is short for an orchestra rehearsal) and sweet. The orchestra begins each session with prayer and I sure could use that. I can't say I breezed through the rather simple music, but I felt great to be in a group of musicians again.

Leaving the rehearsal, I glimpsed my old self morphed into the self I'm becoming. I slipped my cello into the front seat of my sporty red Mustang and drove off with my "Got Cello" decal gleaming in the setting sun. The road from "town" to home is pure country and the warm spring wind in my hair and Copeland on the stereo brought me peace. I felt cool and holy all at once. Is that possible? On that night, it was.

Concerta and the Concerto

Cross posted at Hyper and Happy

I began playing the cello at about the same time I stopped taking Ritalin. I was nine. Back then “we” outgrew A.D.H.D. and I didn’t want to be teased about taking “drugs” anymore, so I stopped taking it.

I studied the cello sans medication for years and years. I majored in cello during most of my years at college and played in a smattering of community orchestras and chamber groups. My solo career peaked 20 years ago when I played my senior recital at Michigan State in May 1987. I still play solos at church on occasion, most recently, Sacred Head Now Wounded for Good Friday. The things I’ve been playing are beautiful, but very simple. Things are about to change.

Playing the cello is very hard. It takes a lot of concentration, both during practice and performance. I had lots of opportunities thanks to my mother, a violinist. I thought I was becoming a musician, but just not quite the caliber I intended. Looking back, I must have some great talent, because I can’t think of times when I practiced and did not daydream and really concentrated. It was NOT something I ever hyperfocused on. I put in the time, but certainly not the mental energy required to really excel. Is it true that I all needed was the Ritalin I stopped taking in 4th grade?? I try not to think about it, but I sometimes wonder.

A couple years ago, I bought a new cello bow. I had a very crummy one and bows are almost as important as the cello itself. With two young children, a husband, a house in need of repair, and a job, I wasn’t sure how I’d find the time to try out my new toy. And, I never really did. Things are about to change.

I started taking 36 mg of Concerta a year ago. (Methyphenidate, just like Ritalin). As I mentioned, I’ve been playing easy stuff on my cello, so I haven’t tried out Concerta’s impact on my music much either. Things are about to change.

I recently decided that I needed to contribute to my community in a positive manner. The avenue I chose was to volunteer for the local orchestra. It is a “civic” orchestra which consists of a mix of seasoned and student musicians. I had been asked to play a concert before, but was unable to join in at that time. Things are about to change.

When I called to volunteer, I found myself being required to audition. Yykes!! It is not that I don’t think I should have to audition, I was just wondering how I’m going to work up an appropriate audition piece in less than a week!!!! I haven’t auditioned in 15 years or so. Things are about to change.

I pulled out some old Concertos I’d played fairly well in the long ago past….Boccherini B flat , Lalo , Saint Saens …Even though I’d been told I would “get in” and the audition was just a formality, my pride made me desire to play something that would reflect my technical abilities on the cello. Ha, ha!!! The fact that I’d recently mourned the death of “Slava”, Mstislav Rostropovich and my recent reading selections included “The Adventures of a Cello” by Carlos Prieto and “Joys and Sorrows” by Pablo Casals did not help the current status of my formerly calloused fingers! Things are about to change.

Here is where Concerta meets the Concerto. When I did find some time to sit down and play some of my old works, I found I could not only go slow and focus better than I ever remembered, I also enjoyed it. There is a lot of chaos in my life, but the first nights I got into the hard stuff (music, not alcohol), it was like an escape…My 3 ½ year old was sitting near me watching a movie and I still felt calm and focused, like I was solving an age old puzzle. My fingers wished they could play longer, but I didn’t want to risk not being able to visit this “oasis” of my cello the next day due to pain.

Finding this oasis was unexpected. I though knitting or prayer were my therapies of choice. However, unlike praying about the worries in my life or mind wanderings during simple knitting exercises, the cello asks to think of it and the notes, not the concerns of my heart. I don’t know if it is the Concerta, the stimulation of urgency, or simple maturity. I do know that things are about to change.

I have decided to play the Saint Saens Cello Concerto. It is aurally “showy”, but technically simpler than the Boccherini. I played the Saint Saens for all of my college auditions back in 1982 and never played it again until now. It is like I’m a kid again. While you can’t go back, sometimes you can re-write ancient history with a new pen (and bow). Things are changing…