Young Mom's Gossip
Today I took my nine year old to have some dental work. As I sat alone in the waiting room, tending to my knitting, I listened in on the chatty office staff. The subject soon turned to the benefits of having children at a young age.
One young woman told the other that even though she knows that 27 isn't old to become a mom, it seems old to her because she had her baby at a much younger age. (I'm guessing from her looks and conversations that she has an infant and is about 20-23 years old). Then she went on to blab about how she'll only be 38 when her kid graduates high school and on and on about being young and having fun blab, blab, blab...I wanted to scream and being impulsive by nature, I'm very proud that I kept my dignity!
I wanted to have a baby while I was still in high school (I also wanted to marry my boyfriend before I had a baby while I was in high school!) I didn't intend to have my babies at such an OLD AGE (32 and 38, which isn't all that OLD!), but that is when my blessings were born.
In my case, I made choices...some bad, some good. I married the wrong men...men who weren't meant to be fathers. I finally had my first baby (after a miscarriage at 30)because I figured I wasn't going to leave my second marriage and I dearly wanted to be a mom and we thought we were going to make it work. I was 32 and we separated when she was two months old and divorced thereafter. I did not put motherhood on hold for a career or have a couple abortions to postpone it, I became a mom when I was meant to become a mom!!!!
Following my divorce, I still hoped for another child, but mostly wanted to be in God's will. God's will was for me to wait on HIM!
When I married my husband at 37, we were ready for whatever God wanted for us. Then we started to figure it wasn't meant to be. But, after nine months of marriage we became pregnant. I was almost 38 and he was 47. My husband always wanted kids too, but after an early marriage to an unfaithful woman, he was single for 19 years and parenthood was on hold, too.
It was not for my own situation that I was so angry, but for all those couples who desperately hope to become parents and are finally blessed at a later age. Many of them have gone through a lot of pain and struggle and hope. It is not always about putting off parenthood for a career or financial stability, etc. Sometimes, it is just God's timing and not ours.
Lately I have been struggling with my age and the ages of my kids. I'm the oldest mom in my nine-year old's class...I can't wait until my baby starts school. My mom had my little brother at 38 and went through some of this, I'm sure. I just remind myself that this is God's will. God blessed me with two very easy preganancies and a strong body to raise my very healthy babies and I'm happy to be in HIS WILL. HE knew what He was doing.
I heard an ad for AAA insurance the other day. In it the narrator talks about a person buying a convertable to haul golf clubs in. It says something like this: Now you don't have to worry about squabbles in the back seat or animal crackers between the cushions...you are fifty and it is your turn...Oh, boy!!! Oh, brother!!!
I asked my husband, who will turn fifty the same month his daughter turns three about this. It doesn't even phase him...he is confident in his youthful spirit and heart and great love for his dear darling daughter (and step-daughter!!!).
Please, just remember to think before you judge. If one becomes a parent at a younger age because they choose to, that is usually acceptable, especially when they are married. If someone becomes a parent at a younger age and didn't intend to, it is usually because they made a decision of some sort(like to have sex and/or not use birth control). In the case of older parents, it isn't so obvious as to why they have babies later. Becoming a parent at an older age may include some drawbacks and problems and having babies at a younger age may be best. Keep in mind, however, "older" parents don't always choose the birthdates of their babies. And, they aren't always "accidents", as some occassionally refer to babies born later in life. Some parents intended to have babies when they were younger for the same reasons young parents had their babies when they did.
I almost wish I would have walked up to those chatty cathy's at the dentist with my white hair and toddler in tow and given them a piece of my mind! Maybe if my toddler were with me, I would have. But then they could blame my age on the fact that I was mad at them...they've seem me wrestle with her in the office and probably attribute it to having her at my age!
One young woman told the other that even though she knows that 27 isn't old to become a mom, it seems old to her because she had her baby at a much younger age. (I'm guessing from her looks and conversations that she has an infant and is about 20-23 years old). Then she went on to blab about how she'll only be 38 when her kid graduates high school and on and on about being young and having fun blab, blab, blab...I wanted to scream and being impulsive by nature, I'm very proud that I kept my dignity!
I wanted to have a baby while I was still in high school (I also wanted to marry my boyfriend before I had a baby while I was in high school!) I didn't intend to have my babies at such an OLD AGE (32 and 38, which isn't all that OLD!), but that is when my blessings were born.
In my case, I made choices...some bad, some good. I married the wrong men...men who weren't meant to be fathers. I finally had my first baby (after a miscarriage at 30)because I figured I wasn't going to leave my second marriage and I dearly wanted to be a mom and we thought we were going to make it work. I was 32 and we separated when she was two months old and divorced thereafter. I did not put motherhood on hold for a career or have a couple abortions to postpone it, I became a mom when I was meant to become a mom!!!!
Following my divorce, I still hoped for another child, but mostly wanted to be in God's will. God's will was for me to wait on HIM!
When I married my husband at 37, we were ready for whatever God wanted for us. Then we started to figure it wasn't meant to be. But, after nine months of marriage we became pregnant. I was almost 38 and he was 47. My husband always wanted kids too, but after an early marriage to an unfaithful woman, he was single for 19 years and parenthood was on hold, too.
It was not for my own situation that I was so angry, but for all those couples who desperately hope to become parents and are finally blessed at a later age. Many of them have gone through a lot of pain and struggle and hope. It is not always about putting off parenthood for a career or financial stability, etc. Sometimes, it is just God's timing and not ours.
Lately I have been struggling with my age and the ages of my kids. I'm the oldest mom in my nine-year old's class...I can't wait until my baby starts school. My mom had my little brother at 38 and went through some of this, I'm sure. I just remind myself that this is God's will. God blessed me with two very easy preganancies and a strong body to raise my very healthy babies and I'm happy to be in HIS WILL. HE knew what He was doing.
I heard an ad for AAA insurance the other day. In it the narrator talks about a person buying a convertable to haul golf clubs in. It says something like this: Now you don't have to worry about squabbles in the back seat or animal crackers between the cushions...you are fifty and it is your turn...Oh, boy!!! Oh, brother!!!
I asked my husband, who will turn fifty the same month his daughter turns three about this. It doesn't even phase him...he is confident in his youthful spirit and heart and great love for his dear darling daughter (and step-daughter!!!).
Please, just remember to think before you judge. If one becomes a parent at a younger age because they choose to, that is usually acceptable, especially when they are married. If someone becomes a parent at a younger age and didn't intend to, it is usually because they made a decision of some sort(like to have sex and/or not use birth control). In the case of older parents, it isn't so obvious as to why they have babies later. Becoming a parent at an older age may include some drawbacks and problems and having babies at a younger age may be best. Keep in mind, however, "older" parents don't always choose the birthdates of their babies. And, they aren't always "accidents", as some occassionally refer to babies born later in life. Some parents intended to have babies when they were younger for the same reasons young parents had their babies when they did.
I almost wish I would have walked up to those chatty cathy's at the dentist with my white hair and toddler in tow and given them a piece of my mind! Maybe if my toddler were with me, I would have. But then they could blame my age on the fact that I was mad at them...they've seem me wrestle with her in the office and probably attribute it to having her at my age!
posted by Susan at 11:44 AM
2 Comments:
I'd be surprised if you are an "older" mom at your child's school. My oldest niece had her first at age 40, 10 years ago, and many professional women wait even longer (although wait may not be the right word.)
Norma...I was pretty surprised when I realized I was the oldest mom in my daughters class...When I had her, about 5 women I worked with had first babies with in 6 months of each other and we were all over 30!
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