Mustang Mamma

Saying Goodbye, Looking Ahead to Summer

2009-06-11T13:06:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was sentimentally tough. My oldest finished her last day of her last year at elementary school. My little girl completed Kindergarten at the Montessori where she has been going since she was three. The little school (K-1) where my big one started school and the little one was to go to first grade is closing. We went to the farewell celebration after school and I took pictures of my two on the little bench where I sat pregnant and with baby little girl waiting to pick-up my big girl from Kindergarten and 1st grade. Until last month, we thought our little girl was going there too. To top it all off, our next door neighbor who owns the Montessori and taught my little girl the past years is moving up north. She's going to stay in town during the week to teach, but we won't be neighbors any longer. Time goes on I guess.

I have to work at the library today so I told my big girl to make a list of ideas, dreams, and hopes for the summer. I am determined that we will have a meaningful summer. One thing we have to solve as a family is mealtime, bedtime, and my big girl's room cleaning habits. This morning I found my dear one sleeping in her bed with books and papers and ....get... this figure skates strewn all about her!!!! I was a messy kid, but this is crazy! At least I've got nearly two weeks off to get started on what I hope is a great (and not so cluttered) summer!

Mission, Politics, Conservatism, and the Rule of Law...

2009-05-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

My slide into political complacency did being with the firing of the U.S. Attorneys. When I first heard of the controversy, I figured President Bush had a good reason and the right to let the attorneys go. I was just tired of the Bush-bashing and figured it was just another one of those cases where the blame Bush agenda was being promoted.
I soon learned that one of the U.S. Attorneys dismissed was named David C. Iglesias. I called my husband and I asked him if it could be the same David Iglesias. Tom was pretty sure it had to be the same guy. I remember going home and digging out my husband’s mission trip videos and photos and quizzing him about all the details. I also remembered him showing me the newspaper clipping about David and A Few Good Men when we first started dating. We actually have a picture of Tom with David’s parents on a bulletin board of mission trip pictures. I’m not sure when or how I confirmed the David Iglesias the U.S. Attorney was David Iglesias, son of missionaries, but for me, these facts became very relevant. I wanted to write about it.
The trouble is that I wanted Tom’s missionary friend, David to be vindicated and I wanted President Bush to not be responsible for these events. How could I write about that? Am I going to be biased? Overwhelmed with discerning facts and fictions.
I am not consulting facts as I write today, but rather writing from my notes and memories of the time.
I think it was my mom who told me Mr. Iglesias was dismissed because he would not rush through some case in time for an election. At least that is what I remember.
Here are the conclusions I drew more from my heart and head than from research:
David C. Iglesias is a Christian, possibly Conservative as the son of Baptist Missionaries
He was appointed by George W. Bush
His job is to determine which cases should be prosecuted or not. His job requires him to gather and review the facts to see if there is enough evidence to prosecute a case. THIS TAKES TIME
Keep in mind: During the time period in which this was beginning to play out, I was not listening, viewing, or reading a lot of news. I was busy with other things. And, the subject of politics was getting too complicated: the war, the war, the economy, and on…
So my heart came to this conclusion:
David C. Iglesias , Christian first, U.S. Attorney second, was doing his job with all of the honesty and integrity of a Christian man. He would not be pushed by party or political expediency, but rather the Rule of Law and the evidence available. He would not was going to waste time or tax-payer’s money on frivolous cases. Nor was he going to rush decisions to influence elections. I figured the problem was local, or I hoped it was local. At this point, I’m still hoping to convince my political novice husband to consider the GOP and conservatism in spite of “them” firing his friend from his Panama days.
It was during this time I just started to get mad and sad about the Bush administration. Ironically, in his book, David Iglesias shares the same kind of feelings of hope and disappointment. What was the truth about everything. I didn’t trust anything from any source. Did “Bushlie”? I just wanted honest leaders who value the individual and the rule of law, etc. Where were they? What about the war? Maybe we shouldn’t be there, but we can’t just leave now. Right? Terrorism? Safety? Freedom? I’m drowning in political thought. I must stop.
In Justice: Inside the scandal that rocked the Bush administration
One day, a colleague told me that David Iglesias had been on N.P.R. Since I’d been avoiding politics, I’d let the issue go. I decided to look Mr. Iglesias up to catch up with the latest. I was so excited to see that he’d written a book. I’d read some things he’d written in Native Peoples Magazine, and knew at the very least, he knew how to write. (And, as a busy mom, etc., I understand why he had a co-author with this tome.)
I see new books released everyday as a librarian. I was tired of all of the –scandal- Bush-wrong- war-books thrust my face via professional journals and our library’s shelves, but I needed this book. I ordered my own copy immediately and read it as fast as I could.
I read and re-read passages, highlighting and taking notes. Ultimately, I learned that the story was pretty similar to the one I’d created in my head. I was really angry! Here is a man who is the kind of person I want in office, not just as a U.S. Attorney, but the Oval Office. These kinds of people do get destroyed because they refuse to play the game, which is exactly why I want people like David Iglesias in important positions.
It was hard to read of people with whom I disagree “saving the day”, but right is right and wrong is wrong and sometimes left doesn’t matter.
Sometimes when I hear someone with whom I generally agree trot out someone like Karl Rove as a Republican poster boy, I just wonder. What am I missing?
I guess this incident really started me thinking that I don’t really know what I’m talking about when I talk conservative. For example, I made a sloppy statement about David Iglesias not being all that conservative. What did I mean by that? So, I re-read page 28 of In Justice. I won’t dare try to paraphrase or cite it here, but I actually agree with what he wrote in a good part. I am having a hard time figuring out the free-market – I can’t seem to win the argument with my husband about NAFTA. Unions? Free Speech? The list goes on.
I know I’m not happy with what has been going on over the last 100 or so days. It seems that most things are in direct opposition with my values, forget my political identity.
Finally, inspired by David C. Iglesias’ comment, I have an important assignment: To define what Conservatism is to me.

Double Shame on Me!

2009-05-04T15:21:00.000-04:00

Double shame on me!
I knew when I was writing my post of April 30, 2009 I wasn’t being thoughtful or careful. I was trying to explain my absence from blogging with too little attention to detail~(please remember, I do actually have A.D.H.D.). I guess I never think that anyone will read what I write, but I was troubled by it all weekend. (I don’t have internet at home at present and couldn’t proof and post anything since Thursday.)
Mr. Iglesias’ comment highlights my need to remember:
1) People actually read what I write.
2) I should write about what is important.
3) I should take my time to write about what is important.
4) I need to go back and take the time to “flesh out” my thoughts shared in my post of April 30.
5) Before I begin, I need to remind myself that the mission of this blog is merely a log on the web of my thoughts, ideas, and sometimes opinions. I don’t like gray areas, but as I try to stay true in black and white…gray sneaks in, urging me to refine once again.

Conservative Complacency

2009-04-30T11:14:00.005-04:00

Shame on me! During this last election cycle, I got very complacent for a variety of factors. I will attempt to discuss what was going on in the political part of my heart and mind in this posting. Confession should precede redemption.

I think it really got started after 2006 dismisal of the U.S. Attorneys. At first I thought the media was not getting to the root of the issue as usual, but then it hit home...kinda sorta.

My husband made a variety of mission trips during his bachelor days. One of those experiences was working with the Kuna Indians of Panama. He told me wonderful stories about working with Claudio Iglesias and his wife Margaret and the Kuna people. He also told me about their son, David. My husband got to know David because David was working with American church groups from the U.S. doing short-term mission work with the Kunas. My husband was actually asked by David to come back to Panama to help another church group. This was because David had to go to Washington, D.C. when the group was scheduled to come and David felt my husband could fill in for him. Prior to the U.S. Attorneys dismissal, the only other thing I knew about David was he had something to do with the real story of the play and movie, A Few Good Men.

When the dismissal became public, I had a hunch what the "rest of the story" was. I read David's book In Justice and tried to consider all of the sides. To say the least, I was troubled, but to be honest, I still don't know what really happened. Maybe we "...can't handle the truth". Ultimately, I wanted David to be a Conservative...but even in his book, he admits he is not all that Conservative anyway...

Concurrent with this was that my family started attending a mission church of our regular congregation. Both of these are part of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) synod. The ELCA is the most liberal of all Lutheran churches. However, our home church was still remaining true to fundamental Biblical teachings, allowing room to let God judge and us to extend grace. However, I soon learned that in my fairly conservative community, the liberals all gravitated to this congregation, so I kept my political mouth shut.

The incident which really shut me down happened during a conversation at a staff dinner about a year ago. I overheard a couple of my colleagues talking about President Bush. These women were colleagues withwhom I shared a mutual respect. One said to the other, "The only people who voted for Bush in 2004 were uneducated and ignorant." I knew they didn't like the president, but hearing such a statement from these colleagues was just...well...I just stayed away from them for a while and stuffed my opinions way down deep. I wanted to scream, but I just got up and walked away and have since tried to let it go...

Fast forward to Fall 2008: I was not thrilled with John McCain and I'm not sure about Sarah Palin either. I admired her when I read about her in the "Weekly Standard" a few years back, but let us just say the jury is out on her. I knew I would vote for McCain because it was the only hope to not let the other candidate win. The funny part was that while all the a political people were voting for Obama because of the war, my husband became an evangelist for voting Republican to keep us safe.

My husband had never been politically active before 2008. He had recently retired from a Teasmter Union job and we are primarily living off of that pension today. However, he felt so strongly about the simple fact that Bush had kept us safe from another attack since 9/11, he had to vote for John McCain and tell everyone to do the same for that simple reason. So, just in time to vote in the General Election of 2008, my 52 year-old husband registered to vote for the first time. On Election Day 2008, the first votes he cast in his life were for Republican candidates!

In addition, my husband and I started attending a new church. We started attending just before the election and during my first prayer meeting, I knew that I found some people who shared some of my political leanings at the very least. It was a start. We continue to pray for President Obama...that his heart will be changed and he will stop un-doing our Conservative Foundations!

I was not surprised in Obama's victory and at first I really didn't think it would have such an immediate impact...I had the attitude of "Oh well, you ask for this stuff..are you happy...I told you so..." After all, in Michigan, Jennifer Grandholm won a second term in spite of totally ruining our state...all because people hate Bush!!"

Now my feelings are very different...I need to get out there and write and do all I can to help this country survive, return to its Conservative foundation...and thrive again.

I don't have a lot of time for blogging and I'm sorry if this is not a well written and proofed posting, but I must post it anyway. There will be time for pretty prose later.

Is This Really What the People Wanted?

2009-03-17T17:43:00.004-04:00

Do you ever feel like everything you believe in is being smacked upside the head? It might just be my imagination, but it seems to me that President Obama is targeting certain things in order to make it clear that anything that hints of Judeo/Christian principles is not going to be tolerated.

It just seems that everything our President does is his way of is thumbing his nose at me...

I'm not whining, just thinking out loud.

Hot-Wiring My (Blogging) Engine

2008-05-18T12:10:00.002-04:00

I compose brilliant posts for my blog in my head all of the time. The trouble is, I just can't find the time to get them down on this vitural paper.

I'm hoping to get my engine going again in the near future. I was inspired today by the fact someone had left a comment on my blog about a story I wrote quite a while back. It seems my post on my hometown of Dearborn, Michigan post has endured...

Ironically, my hometown had been in and out of recent conversations. I think I'll write something on this somewhat light topic as it may segue into a heavier one I've been seriously contemplating...

Clarification: Buckeyes and the State of "Michigan"

2007-11-10T10:15:00.000-05:00

October 20, 2007 was a beautiful Ohio afternoon. I was attending the wedding of my cousin's daughter with my family. We'd driven 4 1/2 hours from our home in Michigan to spend an afteroon with most of my extended family.

After the wedding, several of us were talking outside of the church. On Saturdays in October, the talk inevitably turns toward football, even amongst an intergenerational group of women. Someone asked who the Bucks were playing that afternoon, to which another replied, "Michigan". As a proud Michigan State University grad, I had to clarify that today the Buckeyes were playing Michigan State, not the University of Michigan. I then shared that I almost packed my OSU sweatshirt, until I realized that this was the only day in football season I could NOT be a Buckeye fan. Later, while signing the guest book, a woman commented that, "we won, we're still okay (undefeated)". As I had already predicted my team's loss that afternoon, I knew she was referring to OSU without any futher query.

Upon my return home, I had an email conversation with a cousin whom I had "seen" but not spoken to at the wedding. (A very big family and lots of little kids makes this a challenge!)

The subject of note was the game of the previous Saturday. No matter how many times I tried to tell her that OSU beat Michigan State that Saturday, she continued to refer to the "win over Michigan" and the OSU/University of Michigan rivalry. My hope is that she is pleasantly surprised when OSU DEFEATS "MICHIGAN" (again?) on Saturday.

I just wonder how many people "Michigan" and "Michigan State" are the same? Maybe it is just our "neighbors" in Ohio? I didn't realize this until I was in the 5th grade. A kid I liked had a "Michigan (State)" jacket that was green and white and my brother's "Michigan" shirt was maize and blue. I asked my dad if "they" had two sets of colors. He cleared up my misunderstanding. Ironically, Dad is a UM MBA'd-MSU Dad-Buckeye Fan, so he should be able to explain this to anyone!

At least my Ohio relatives are starting to understand why I'm Buckeye fan each year in late November.

I've blogged about my Buckeye connections here
http://mustangmamma.blogspot.com/2005/11/go-bucks.html

Genius

2007-06-20T14:27:00.000-04:00

As I was handwriting a series of fortunate events, I recalled this funny little teaser from my blog entry to come:

My 4 year old daughter and I were exploring Thomas Edison's laboratory at Greenfield Village this past Saturday. The "presenter" was talking about Edison's favorite invention, the phonograph and asked my daughter what she did when she wanted to listen to good music. "Do you have a cd player, an ipod, or a radio?" he queried. To this, my dear girl replied, "My mommy plays the 'cello." Just more inspiration to keep on playing, eh???

Audition

2007-05-31T14:20:00.000-04:00

Tuesday was a day of wearing many hats...mom, librarian, dental patient (just a cleaning), and finally, 'cellist.

After an exhausting day, I arrived at my audition pretty tired. I can't say anyone was happy to see me. At first I felt like I had a scarlet letter on my blouse, as if I accidently entered the wrong room.

After sharing with the personnel manager that I was getting nervous, I relaxed a bit. She said they are just "...looking for warm bodies who can read music. Can you read music?" To that I replied, "I think so."

I sat down in the audition room, in a very non-cello appropriate chair, without a stand and played the first page of the Saint Saens Cello Concerto in A minor. I did fairly well, not having played it for anyone in 25 years. Sightreading was terrible. The first part was a solo line from the William Tell Overature, with which I was less than familiar. I really did not expect that level of music for a community orchestra sightreading audition. Then I had to read the "Lone Ranger" theme part which looks easier than it plays. It requires a richocet bowing technique that I have not used in forever, AND never on my high quality bow. So I'm not only fumbling with the notes, but also with what part of my much better bow to use for the best "richocet effect"!! I got in, so I guess it doesn't matter, except for the blow to my pride.

The rehearsal was rather sort (two hours is short for an orchestra rehearsal) and sweet. The orchestra begins each session with prayer and I sure could use that. I can't say I breezed through the rather simple music, but I felt great to be in a group of musicians again.

Leaving the rehearsal, I glimpsed my old self morphed into the self I'm becoming. I slipped my cello into the front seat of my sporty red Mustang and drove off with my "Got Cello" decal gleaming in the setting sun. The road from "town" to home is pure country and the warm spring wind in my hair and Copeland on the stereo brought me peace. I felt cool and holy all at once. Is that possible? On that night, it was.

Concerta and the Concerto

2007-05-25T13:04:00.001-04:00

Cross posted at Hyper and Happy

I began playing the cello at about the same time I stopped taking Ritalin. I was nine. Back then “we” outgrew A.D.H.D. and I didn’t want to be teased about taking “drugs” anymore, so I stopped taking it.

I studied the cello sans medication for years and years. I majored in cello during most of my years at college and played in a smattering of community orchestras and chamber groups. My solo career peaked 20 years ago when I played my senior recital at Michigan State in May 1987. I still play solos at church on occasion, most recently, Sacred Head Now Wounded for Good Friday. The things I’ve been playing are beautiful, but very simple. Things are about to change.

Playing the cello is very hard. It takes a lot of concentration, both during practice and performance. I had lots of opportunities thanks to my mother, a violinist. I thought I was becoming a musician, but just not quite the caliber I intended. Looking back, I must have some great talent, because I can’t think of times when I practiced and did not daydream and really concentrated. It was NOT something I ever hyperfocused on. I put in the time, but certainly not the mental energy required to really excel. Is it true that I all needed was the Ritalin I stopped taking in 4th grade?? I try not to think about it, but I sometimes wonder.

A couple years ago, I bought a new cello bow. I had a very crummy one and bows are almost as important as the cello itself. With two young children, a husband, a house in need of repair, and a job, I wasn’t sure how I’d find the time to try out my new toy. And, I never really did. Things are about to change.

I started taking 36 mg of Concerta a year ago. (Methyphenidate, just like Ritalin). As I mentioned, I’ve been playing easy stuff on my cello, so I haven’t tried out Concerta’s impact on my music much either. Things are about to change.

I recently decided that I needed to contribute to my community in a positive manner. The avenue I chose was to volunteer for the local orchestra. It is a “civic” orchestra which consists of a mix of seasoned and student musicians. I had been asked to play a concert before, but was unable to join in at that time. Things are about to change.

When I called to volunteer, I found myself being required to audition. Yykes!! It is not that I don’t think I should have to audition, I was just wondering how I’m going to work up an appropriate audition piece in less than a week!!!! I haven’t auditioned in 15 years or so. Things are about to change.

I pulled out some old Concertos I’d played fairly well in the long ago past….Boccherini B flat , Lalo , Saint Saens …Even though I’d been told I would “get in” and the audition was just a formality, my pride made me desire to play something that would reflect my technical abilities on the cello. Ha, ha!!! The fact that I’d recently mourned the death of “Slava”, Mstislav Rostropovich and my recent reading selections included “The Adventures of a Cello” by Carlos Prieto and “Joys and Sorrows” by Pablo Casals did not help the current status of my formerly calloused fingers! Things are about to change.

Here is where Concerta meets the Concerto. When I did find some time to sit down and play some of my old works, I found I could not only go slow and focus better than I ever remembered, I also enjoyed it. There is a lot of chaos in my life, but the first nights I got into the hard stuff (music, not alcohol), it was like an escape…My 3 ½ year old was sitting near me watching a movie and I still felt calm and focused, like I was solving an age old puzzle. My fingers wished they could play longer, but I didn’t want to risk not being able to visit this “oasis” of my cello the next day due to pain.

Finding this oasis was unexpected. I though knitting or prayer were my therapies of choice. However, unlike praying about the worries in my life or mind wanderings during simple knitting exercises, the cello asks to think of it and the notes, not the concerns of my heart. I don’t know if it is the Concerta, the stimulation of urgency, or simple maturity. I do know that things are about to change.

I have decided to play the Saint Saens Cello Concerto. It is aurally “showy”, but technically simpler than the Boccherini. I played the Saint Saens for all of my college auditions back in 1982 and never played it again until now. It is like I’m a kid again. While you can’t go back, sometimes you can re-write ancient history with a new pen (and bow). Things are changing…

Michigan State Frozen Four National Champions 2007!

2007-04-09T19:02:00.000-04:00

HOCKEY IS MY SPORT AND MICHIGAN STATE IS MY ALMA MATER!!!!! YEAH!!!!

Baby Brother Gives Son Baby Brother!

2007-04-02T20:28:00.000-04:00

My older younger brother and his wife welcomed their new addition Friday afternoon!

Prayers were requested that morning as my sister-in-law was found to have an increase in blood pressure at a routine appointment that morning. She was sent straight to the hospital where her labor was induced. As afternoon approached, she was prepared for an emergency cesarean. Shortly before it was to begin, my sister-in-law told the nurse that she felt like she could push now. The nurse jokingly replied, "Yeah, sure, go ahead." The next thing they new, my little nephew was greeting the world! Big brother is seven and thrilled with a brother!

Sunday, my little brood went to meet our new little person. He weighed 6 pounds andn 6 ounces and is very handsome. He has lots of auburnish hair and teeny tiny hands. I had never held a baby that little before, but he is so precious.

God is Good! We prayed very hard for this baby. Mom had miscarried a year prior and at 40 was taking it one day at a time. 03-30-07 was the day!

Spring Break 2007

2007-03-30T14:25:00.000-04:00

Thirteen Things I Hope to Do on Spring Break

1.Visit my new niece or nephew who is on the way as I type.

2. Practice my cello.

3. Play my cello at church on Maundy Thursday.

4. Join in Holy Communion with my daughter as she communes for the first time on Maundy Thursday.

5. Play my cello at church on Good Friday.

6. Take my daughters ice skating.

7. Go to a Detroit Red Wings game with my husband.

8.Visit my mom & dad.

9. Clean my house and car.

10. Write some blog entries.

11. Knit a scarf for my aunt, my mom's sister-in-law, who is going through radiation for breast cancer.

12. Pray for my other aunt, mom's sister, a 10+ breast cancer survivor who has a breast biopsy coming up on Monday.

13. Spend some real good solid time in conversation with God.

AND Play and play with my sweet wonderful little girls!

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Slainte`

2007-03-16T13:38:00.000-04:00

Slainte`

[Cheers in Gaelic and fittingly also the name of the website of the Scottish Information and Libraries Council: www.slainte.org.uk/]

When you’ve loved, let go, and loved again, sometimes it is hard to know how to feel about things so entwined with the love of your past. With the relatively recent revival of Celtic/Gaelic/Irish culture, I’m more than occasionally reminded of my former life. I always feel a little empty spot in my heart each St. Patrick’s Day. And, on that day each year, I always wear my little gold Claddagh around my neck in honor of my past.

It was during my college years that I was an honorary daughter of Erin. There is a smidge of Irish through the Neal (O’Neal) line on my mother’s side. I didn’t really know about it growing up, so I always felt left out on St. Patrick’s Day in my Irish Catholic neighborhood. I wasn’t even sure I was supposed to wear green on March 17 as I was a German Lutheran. At one time I thought I was supposed to wear orange because I was a Protestant. I love the person who coined the phrase, “Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day!”

During the fall of my freshman year at college, some dorm mates dragged me to a pre-game breakfast at a fraternity. This impressionable music major spied a cute guy playing the hammered dulcimer in the corner. He was mostly Scottish with a wee bit o’ Irish mixed in. His major was advertising, but his true love was Celtic music. Of all the young woman swarming around in that fraternity house, he found me across the room. That combined with his interest in music caught my attention. A significant, positive, and memorable relationship began that fall day.

During the early days of our relationship, my friend introduced me to The Bothy Band, Planxty, and The Chieftans, among others. Until this time, I had only heard of the Irish Rovers and legend has it that my grandpa liked to sing, Danny Boy.

Traditional Irish music was virtually unknown to the masses and I was no exception. I was a classically trained ‘cellist and singer heavily influenced by the pop music of the day. And, in this day, U2 was barely on the charts and Sin`ead O’Connor had yet to insult the pope.

My friend played the Highland bagpipes and a little fiddle in addition to hammered dulcimer. During Christmas break, he took me to a Detroit Pipers Society meeting at the White Heather Club. It was there I first made the acquaintance of a group of musicians and friends who would play a big part of my life during my college years. Most of these people were a little older and already in the working world. They all loved to play Irish music and they were all good at their craft.

My friend became my boyfriend sometime between that Detroit Pipers Society meeting and the Detroit Irish Festival that summer. His original profession of love for me was with a bouquet of daisies and carnations delivered on March 17, 1983. The sentiment on the enclosed card was penned in Gaelic and translated as, “I love you”. It was really romantic and unexpected as we hadn’t dated or talked in weeks!

Most of our relationship was long distance. He graduated a year after we met and his career took him to Chicago the following Spring. I split my time between school, home, and visits to Chicago.

When we got together in the Detroit area, Irish music was always on the agenda. We patronized venues such as Cowleys Old Village Inn, McCarthy’s Party, Gaelic League/Irish-American Club; The Old Shillelagh, and so on. Irish festivals & Highland Games were always a staple of our dating life. If we went to a sports event or concert (classical or pop), the night was always rounded out with the ceili (jam session) of the night. Sometimes my boyfriend would join in the playing, but many times we would just sit and listen. The instrumentation would vary according to those in attendance, but usually included Uilliann pipes (Irish bagpipes), Irish flute, tin whistle, fiddle, concertina, fiddle, and bodhran. At the time, no one played Celtic harp, but now it is a huge part of the traditional Irish scene. I’m sure the absence of the harp was part of the reason for my boyfriend’s hammered dulcimer being so welcome to the circle. Highland pipes weren’t generally played in small indoor spaces, but I’ve been in a small boarding house room listening to them as well! They’re much louder in person!

To the real Irish, St. Patrick’s Day isn’t much different that any other great day for a ceili. I remember being the only one in our group who wore green one year! There are also the parades, but ironically, the Highland (Scottish) pipes are the primary parade instrument for the Celts. (After all, the Highland pipes were made for the battlefield!)

Keep in mind, this was in the early 1980s, well before The Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatly helped begin this era’s Celtic revival with Riverdance. These Celtic friends of mine were on the cutting edge. So much a part of the revival itself, Michael Flatly was part of this same scene.

The Detroit Irish scene and the Chicago Irish scene are closely connected. When my boyfriend moved from the Detroit area, he was encouraged to get in touch with the locals who were active on the Irish cultural scene in Chicago. The Flatley’s were frequently mentioned. One long weekend, I drove to Chicago with a couple of our friends to see my boyfriend and attend a wedding.

At the reception, everyone kept saying that the bride’s brother was a championship Irish dancer and kept begging him to get on the floor and dance. So here I was, sitting at a wedding reception, c. 1984 watching the bride’s brother, Michael Flatley dance with one of our friends accompanying him on Irish flute.

I took this all for granted.

Here I was in the middle of this music/dance revolution, a trained musician and I didn’t even try to join in. One of the guys really tried to encourage me and one time, I tried to play along by ear which I had never done before. I felt so silly and never tried again. For what ever reason, I just figured that I wasn’t Irish and my cello just wasn’t supposed to be part of this “party”.

Looking back, it was such a missed opportunity, regardless of my romantic relationship or heritage. Today, Irish fiddling is a part of taking violin lessons for a lot of young players. Irish fiddler Natalie McMaster is playing with the Detroit Symphony this weekend. Celtic cello is also hot and it could have been me. (Although I wouldn’t recommend combining Irish dance with cello playing as you see done with the fiddle and dance!) And, thanks to the integration of the music and dance of other cultures into shows like Riverdance, you don’t have to be Irish to be an Irish musician!

When I ended our relationship (for no good reason, actually), I broke all ties to him and his music. I don’t know if it was a rebellion against that part of my past, sad memories it invoked, or loyalty to new loves, but I quit listening to Irish music altogether. Until recently, I’ve been afraid to see Riverdance because of what it might stir in my soul.
Last year at this time, I “Googled” some old names and found this website http://www.detroitirish.org/ about the local Irish scene in Detroit. A lot of the same faces were there smiling back. Some have passed on, but the brightest part was all the kids carrying on the tradition. My friend is pretty much absent, although I found a relatively recent picture of him and an old one. I’m not sure I want to know the rest of that story. I do hope to someday to have the courage to check out groups like Finvarra’s Wren and head over to Chicago for a bite of corned beef and cabbage at Chief O’Neill’s Pub. For now, I wear my small gold Claddagh around my neck and wish a wind at your back and a road to meet you

Mustang Christmas Post

2006-12-20T12:07:00.001-05:00

Whereas the name of my blog refers to my love for Ford Mustangs, on occassion I feel I should tip my hat to that beloved American classic:

'Twas The (Mustang) Night Before Christmas

-author unknown

'Twas the night before Christmas and in the garage,

There wasn't a trace of a Chevy or a Dodge.

The presents were wrapped and the lights were all lit,

So I figured I'd mess with the Stang for a bit.

I popped the release and I lifted the hood,

When a deep voice behind me said "looks pretty good."

Well, as you can imagine, I turned mighty quick,

And there, by the workbench, stood good ol Saint Nick!

We stood there a bit, not too sure what to say,

Then he said "don't suppose that you'd trade for my sleigh?

I said "no way, Santa" and started to grin,

"But if you've got the time we could go for a spin!"

His round little mouth, all tied up like a bow,

Turned into a smile and he said "hey! Let's go!!"

So as not to disturb all the neighbors' retreat,

We pushed the Mustang quietly into the street,

Then, taking our places to drift down the hill,

I turned on the key and I let the clutch spill.

The sound that erupted took him by surprise,

But he liked it a lot, by the look in his eyes.

With Hoosier`s a' crying and side pipes aglow,

We headed on out where the hot rodders go.

And Santa's grin widened, approaching his ears,

With every up shift, as I went through the gears.

Then he yelled "can't recall when I've felt so alive!",

So I backed off the gas and said "you wanna drive?"

Ol Santa was stunned when I gave him the keys,

When he walked past the headlights he shook at the knees!

Then the big block exploded with side exhaust sound!

Santa let out the clutch and the tires shook the ground!

Power shift into second, again into third!

I sat there just watching, at loss for a word,

Then I heard him exclaim as we blasted from sight,

"Merry Christmas to all...........what a great night!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, I must include the line from Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Night Before Christmas "And some parts from a Mustang GT", which closely describes some items found under my family's Christmans tree circ. 1980s, including the very same bumper pictured here on my blog. [Alas, not a GT, but a beloved 1965 with a 289 under the hood!]

Nutcracker Suite Sweetness

2006-12-18T10:52:00.000-05:00

Monday Memories

My three-year old's favorite Christmas music this year is The Nutcracker Suite by Tchaikovsky. She says she loves it because it is "ballerina music". Of course listening to this classic (well, technically it is from the Romantic period), brought to mind some Nutcracker memories.

A very special memory occured ten years ago. I was about 5 months pregnant with my oldest daughter. I had also returned to playing the cello pretty seriously. I had taken some lessons that summer, was practicing more, and playing in our community orchestra with my mom. Each year a small part of the orchestra was selected to play for a production of Nutcracker ballet staged by a local ballet troup. The only disappointment was that my mom wasn't needed that year so we didn't get to share in the fun aka hard work together. [Mom is a violinist and there are always many more violins available than cellos.]

We rehearsed extra hours and I faithfully practiced my orchestra part each night. I've never been really good at practicing orchestra music in the past, but this was very important to me. I also thought it was good for my baby too, since she was resting right behind my cello and felt every vibration. Even my doctor thought it was good for her! I figured out that my daughter had been to seven performances of Nutcracker before she was even born!

We performed seven times over a long weekend and I remember looking for enough black maternity clothes to wear something unique at each performance. (Kind of silly since I couldn'be seen down in our pit!)

[A "pit orchestra" is an orchestra that accompanies a variety of stage performances including operas, musical, ballets, etc. The musicians sit beneath the stage and sometimes are literally in a pit not visible to the audience, hence the name "pit orchestra".]

I've played in a few pit orchestras, but most times I could see the action when I wasn't playing. This orchestra pit was literally down in a pit and partially under the stage. I could hear every wooden-toed step of the ballerinas, but never got to see any of it!

I think there were only about four cellos and we really "bonded" in that pit. It had been a long time since I felt really a part of something like that. I was a musician again. I was also just starting to feel my baby's moves and Tchaikovsky really made her dance. As a remembrance of that experience I purchased a small nutcracker figurine and noted that it was "For Baby 1996". Each year we remember that Christmas with warm hearts.

In December of 2003, I joined my mother and that baby girl in a performance of The Nutcracker staged by that very same company in that same high school auditorium. Afterwards we enjoyed the Nutcracker Tea and my big girl met some of the cast as well. It was not only my big girl's first time "at the ballet", it was mine as well! [I studied ballet for eight years, but that doesn't count!]

My little girl was 5 months old at the time and didn't come along. I'm getting excited about taking all of us again to the Nutcracker Tea in a year or two!

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Christmas Music

2006-12-14T12:20:00.000-05:00

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Thirteen Things about MY MUSICAL CHRISTMASES

These are some highlights of how music has made my Christmas bright in days of yore:

1. Church Christmas Pageants, especially the year Santa came early. We returned home after Sunday morning church service, which included the children's pageant, to find Santa had visited and left me a guitar among many other wonderful presents. (Didn't shake my belief in Santa one bit~I was eight.)

2. Elementary School concerts, particularly playing the recorder in 4th grade, wearing my purple velvet "palazzo" pants sewn by mom to play my cello in 5th grade, and singing an obligato part in a trio of girls in the 6th grade.

3. In high school, I played several performances of Messiah with the Dearborn Symphony, our semi-professional community orchestra. I thought I was becomming a great musician at the time. (Maybe I was, but...)

4. My high school choir sang Christmas music all over town, but the best part was singing Christmas Carols at Greenfield Village and Henry Ford Museum. I was also part of a group of kids invited to sing there the Christmas after we graduated~that was even more fun.

Caroling with my church for shut-ins and impromtu caroling with h.s. choir friends were also memorable times.

5. In my senior of h.s., I accompanied our choir a little because no one else played piano at all. The choir was invited to sing at the Hyatt Regency. At the last minute, I was told I was going to start "It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas" without the lights on. I did fine, but I was really nervous because the d.j.'s from a favorite radio station were there too.

6. My high school dream was fullfilled when I was selected as part of an exclusive, seniors only, 16 member "Vocal Ensemble". We performed choreographed songs all over the community on a regular basis. As you can imagine, Christmas was a particularly busy season. It was great!!!!!

7. In 1986, during my last year at Michigan State, I was in the State Singers and Chamber Choir, as well as the orchestra. There was a lot of music that year! I spent most of finals week at choir rehearsals for a performance of Messiah with the Lansing Symphony. Of course, when it was time for the performance, I had the worst sore throat of my life and couldn't eek out a note...I stayed home and I still regret it.

8. In the early 1990's, the former organist of our church was looking for a string quartet to play Christmas Eve. at his current church. A musician friend from church gave him my mom's name. As it turned out, the pastor of this church was our former pastor. This pastor and his wife had been pretty good friends with my parents until he left to pastor a congregation in Germany years ago. So, on that special Christmas Eve, over 20 years after worshiping together the last time, our quartet played and my family had a little reunion with old friends. That's when I started to realize that church and music will always bring us to each other.

9. Until I married my husband, I regularly attended Noel Night in Detroit's University & Cultural Center. There were carolers, singing school groups, and the MSU Men's Glee Club to enjoy. However my favorite memory was the year I stepped into the Cathedral Church of St. Paul where there was a Messiah sing along. I only sang a couple of choruses, but the mood of the night, the beauty of the church, and the music of eternity left a big impression on my soul.

10. In 2001 my husband-to-be were singing together in our Sunday school's P&W team. My husband has a strong voice and plays guitar pretty well. Unfortunately, his pitch seems to run a half-tone flat. I remember wanting so much to sing well and I should have been able to as the songs were so familiar. However, I just struggled so much to even find a singable key as the others in the group sang slightly under pitch as they followed my husband's lead. I eventually just moved my lips and stepped away from the mike for those Christmastime Sunday mornings. It's a funny memory, but at the time I felt like I wasn't much of a musician if I couldn't get everyone on the right pitch. (The guitar was fine, but the singers just didn't seem to notice how they were singing!)

11. In 2003, after many years of wishing, my mom had her dream of a family Christmas musicale come true. We all met at my house a couple nights before Christmas. We had a violin (mom), cello (me), guitar (husband), B flat trumpet(brother), and cornet (my s.i.l. plays fr. horn, but doesn't have a good case for air travel so she played my bro's old cornet.) Dad, big younger brother, and his wife sang(?) while the 6 & 3 year old kids banged on drums and tambourines. My baby at almost 6 mos., slept throught the whole thing! It was great, but we haven't been able to get it together since. Now my big girl could join in on violin and I know my little one will be there in full voice and "tappy" shoes!

12. My daughter was in 2nd grade in 2004 and by tradition, second graders sing at our community's tree lighting ceremony. It was a crisp beautiful Michigan night when we all gathered by the tree in the park to hear those sweet, clear voices sing of the season and see the tree light up for the first time of the year.

13. Last December, I played and sang a bit during the season of Advent. Unfortunately, my biggest memory was early in December when I played 'cello for the 8:15 service. I didn't feel good, but I thought I was okay. I played the first hymn and immediately laid my 'cello down and ran to the bathroom with good reason. I elected to drive home instead of trying to stick around for the 9:30 and 11:00 services to which I was commited. I felt guilty until I drove up my driveway and barely got the door to my car opened in time...

Mom's Menorah

2006-12-12T13:42:00.000-05:00

I was raised in a pretty traditional Christian home. Christmas meant CHRISTmas. Sure, we had Santa and reindeer and participated in most of the usual commerical customs of Christmas, but it all centered around the birth or our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Beginning in about 1974 or 1975, Christmas Eve took on a somewhat predictable pattern. While there were exceptions, Christmas is offically celebrated at my parent's home on Christmas Eve and usually includes a family dinner, attending a church service, and exchanging gifts (Santa continues to leave gifts for the little ones to find on Christmas morning).

As our family welcomed new members, our traditions have evolved, but we still include our Christian practices throughout the season.

Some of my mother's children (my older younger brother and his family) avoid the Christian parts by finding excuses, but when you celebrate Christmas in our home, you know what you are getting into.

My little brother's bride was raised in a non-practicing, Jewish/Christian home and made her decision to practice the Jewish faith of her mother as a young adult. (I think it was a very difficult decision for her, especially since she was already in love with my practicing Christian brother at the time.)[I'm not addressing the religious/marital/family implications of this entry.]

My baby brother and sister-in-law have spent each Christmas since c.1999 with our family. Since they live in another state, this means she is saturated in CHRISTmas for over a week each year. My SIL never complains and is always willing to go to church and other religious Christmas activities with my brother and our family during her stay. I've even shared a church pew with her Christmas Eve on several occassions as she lent her voice to many sacred carols and hymns.

Last year Hannukah began at sundown on December 25. My brother shopped around a primarily Christian community and was successful in obtaining candles for a menorah, but not the menorah. So, on Christmas Eve, my two brothers spent a couple of hours in the basement fashioning a menorah out of wood so my SIL could continue her own traditions away from home. My mom said my SIL faithfully lit her candles each night.

Last Saturday I was at my mom's and she said she wanted to show me something she bought. She took me into our dining room and showed me her new purchase. (pictured above) She purchased it for my SIL because of my SIL's tolerance of our traditions and her faithfulness to her own.

I, too had been thinking about Hannukah. Is is not a story of God's faithfullness and provision? There is nothing un-Christian about it. For a Christian, many Jewish traditions make sense. As the sun sets this evening I will think on these things.

One lovely young Jewish woman has taught me a lot about the Christian principles of love and acceptance. My SIL has accepted our traditions and one day, our prayer will be answered with her acceptance of Jesus Christ as her Savior.

Monday Memories

2006-12-11T11:39:00.000-05:00

Advent Memories~
These are just tid bits of remembrances and stories related to Advent~

I grew up in a big, beautiful Lutheran Church known for it's gothic architecture and large stained glass windows. This is the setting of many Advent and Christmas memories, fitting since I first learned about Advent within it's "Indiana Limestone" walls. (My favorite art teacher from Indiana told me that is where they got the limestone for my church~she was from Indiana.)

We always had large Advent wreath suspended from the ceiling near the pulpit. My earliest memory recalls the candles were white or red. I do clearly remember when they switched to three blue and one pink. I also remember the advent of the "Christ Candle" which was placed on a stand next to the pulpit.

As I grew older, I heard stories from acolytes that they were afraid they would light the wreath itself as it was tricky to reach the candles with the candle lighter and snuffer. We had the traditional brass combination candle lighter and suffer on a long pole, but some of the acolytes were on the short side. One of my old friends told me once when he was "serving" at the Catholic church of his childhood that he once lit all the candles on the first Sunday of Advent. Yikes.

Music was a huge part of my life and the life of my church. We had a real pipe organ and organist who knew that he was blessed in his capacity at that church. Our choir was especially suited to the church and its organ as well. While some churches in our community paid their choristers, ours consisted of our own members who also sang in additional choral groups about town. Looking back, I know I was incredibly blessed by that. God and and Music were inseparable in my heart and mind. During Advent, each year as the Prophecy Candle was lit on the first Sunday of the season, we sang Come, O Come Emmanuel. To this day, it is one of my favorites in it's mysterious minor key. I have a beautiful recording by country singer John Berry that always gives me chills.

The thing I always remember about that beautiful hymn, however is my dad's unique rendition one year when I was probably a teen. With the exception of playing the cornet in the high school band circa. 1950's, my dad is the one in our family without any substantial musical training. He is also the one gifted with the strongest and usually well-pitched voice. One year, we had the words printed in the bulletin rather than using our hymnals:

O Come, O Come Emmanuel and ransome captive Israel...

REFRAIN: Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

My dad, in his stong baritone enthusiastically sang, "REFRAIN, Rejoice!....
I know my family was not the only ones to hear his interpretation that day, but we are the ones to make part of Advent legend. Each year, just like the regular lighting of the Advent candles, I retell the tale and my brothers and I laugh a good laugh and my dad, in his good humor snickers along.

My dad also liked to quote his old pastor from St. John's Evangelical and Reformed church of Dover, Ohio. Dad always called it an "ADVEN TREATH" and gave credit to his old pastor each and every time he mentioned the item in conversation.

One Advent story is really catty and dumb, but my husband remembers it each year with glee. During Advent in 2001, my husband and I were pretty serious about marriage. However, his ex-girlfriend was active in our singles Sunday School class and still carrying a torch of sorts for him. They only dated a couple of months, so I was trying not to think much of it. She invited me to Ann Arbor to sing in a Messiah sing along and we did have a nice time. I was a bit unsettled in her attempts to befriend me, but I was sort of new to the group, so I tried. She was also trying to maintain a friendship with my boyfriend and called him frequently. (He'd get off the phone and call to report it all to me.) Once she called to tell him her kitchen had caught on fire. In my mind this was pretty serious stuff, but he laughs because the reason her kitchen caught on fire was because she left her house while Advent wreath candles were still lit. So, to this day, I never, ever, ever leave my Advent wreath unattended while a candle is burning. I mean I literally light it and watch it the whole time. I don't even turn around to pick up my devotional or anything. (I'm extremely cautious around flame anyway, but if my ADVENT wreath would be implicated in any kind of fire emergency, I don't know...)

I've always loved the traditions associated with Advent practice of lighting Advent candles. After my daughter was born in 1997, I first purchased my own small wreath and attempt to honor the season with devotions and candles since that time.

Last year, our church began a yearly tradition on the first Wednesday before the start of Advent to make an Advent wreath together. Along with my two daughters and husband, I participated last year and together with our brothers and sisters in our congregation made a beautiful Advent wreath. Following a soup and salad meal, my husband wrapped an evergreen garland around a straw wreath and my big girl decorated it with purple and gold flowers. (I'm usually the crafty one, but my little girl was sitting on my lap and I was busy keeping her interested in watching the process.) The candle holders were hot glued by some men of the church. While the glue was left to set, we had a time of worship with prayers, lessons, and songs. We then placed our purple (3) and pink (1) candles into the wreath and lit the first one together as a family. We were given a list of devotions and Advent questions to consider as a family at home each night. It was a wonderful and meaningful experience and I'm trying to continue my advent practices this year as a respite from the rush.

I always seek HIM, so I'm always celebrating Advent, but this time of year I connect with Christians everywhere, past, present, and future. Bound by tradition, four candles of hope, peach, joy, & love, culminating with Christ and HIS light!

2006-12-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

Michael Guido, the mayor of my hometown, Dearborn, Michigan died on Tuesday. He was only 52. He had been mayor since 1986, back when I still called Dearborn home.

My family has long since left Dearborn (1988), but Mayor Guido's passing got me to thinking about the good days growing up there~

Thirteen Things about Dearborn, Michigan

1.It was my hometown.

2. It is the hometown of Henry Ford.

3. They used to build Mustangs there.

4. Edsel Ford High School was the best high school from 1979-1982. Especially the music program. (Not really, but our choirs and jazz ensembles were awesome!) Our Thunderbird mascot and black & white school "neutrals" were neat too.

5. We had public swimming pools and outdoor ice rinks in every neighborhood. (Swimming passes were only $1-$5 and skating was free.) I would spend endless summer days perfecting my sychronized swimming skills preparing for the big show at the end of the summer.

6. During the 70's and 80's it had great recreation programs including ballet lessons, ice skating lessons, musical opportunites for all levels, sports leagues, and theatre.

7. Having the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village practically in your backyard was really cool! Dearborn was covered head to toe in national and local history...that's where the seed was planted in me to study history.

8. Saint Paul American Lutheran church was a beautiful place to get to know Christ and worship Him. (For years, I thought the back door with it's Gothic architecture was the Wittenberg door where Luther wrote his 95 theses!)

9. You could bike ride almost anywhere when I was a kid.

10. Ford Woods Ice Arena (AKA Adray Arena/Dearborn Ice Skating Center)was a great place to take figure skating and hangout on the weekends in the '70s! Being even an alternate Chrystallette, Dearborn's Championship Precision (Synchronized) skating team was a great honor!

11. Dearborn Public Schools had a string program. Many schools don't and I'm still grateful I started taking cello lessons in elementary school instead of the flute! We also had the Dearborn Youth Symphony and those scholarships were pretty great.

12. Nearly 10 years after leaving my childhood neighborhood, nestled behind Oakwood Hospital, I returned in 1997 to give birth to my first born daughter there, right across the street from my elementary school.

13. HOWEVER, I hated the library. It was so exciting when the big, new beautiful Henry Ford Centennial Library opened when I was in Kindergarten. My dad even took me to the dedication of the Marshall Fredrick's stature of Henry Ford, a couple years later. It started out to be a great place, until I tried to use my library skills by myself in 1st or 2nd grade. The librarians (library staff) were so MEAN and they were still very unhelpful when I went back there during library school!!!! Alas, that is why I became the nice librarian I am today!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) If I can figure out how!

New Memories & Old Memories

2006-12-04T17:03:00.000-05:00

Last night my two daughters donned their best "princess" dresses and sang their hearts our at our church's Christmas concert.

My nine-year old looked so elegant in a nearly floor-length gold sleeveless dress with black velvet "shrug". The round neckline had a bit of black beading that only added to the grace of her dress. Her patent leather shoes were just perfect for her age and her brown hair flowed just below her shoulders. She smiled brightly through the entire performance, her face glowing with the spirit of God within. When the time came for her to take her turn to sing a small solo, her voice was strong, filled with a love for Jesus and the grace of God. [Hours before, she cried on the floor of her bedroom about how scared she was to sing. I reassured her that God would take care of that and He is always faithful.]

My little one, who might have been the youngest three-year old involved, nearly exploded with glee when she saw herself in the mirror with her black patent leather "tappy shoes" and burgundy satin dress, complete with its embroidered flowers and crinoline. She took her place on the lowest riser and stayed there for the entire 30 minute performance. She even sang many of the songs as I knew she could (at least in the car and at the store!). She did some hand motions with the group and then made up her own, mostly playing with her eyes and tucking her hair behind her ears. She only lifted her dress for a brief moment and then bent down to look at her shoes for another minute or two.

The performance was filled with old and new songs~some backed with a cd and some accompanied by our director of music. Everything from a more contemporary, "Christmas is a Time for Love" to "Great is Thy Faithfulness and "Away in the Manger." Sign language, a few props for little ones to hold, scarves to wave and plenty of solos and memorized lines to go around. And it lasted a pleasant 30-40 minutes, "Joy to the World" and cookies, punch, coffee, and fellowship. Now I have the Christmas spirit!

Later at dinner, my parents and I shared some highlights of Christmas pageants of the past with my husband and daughters~

~The year my brother was about 3 and he tossed the "baby Jesus" (my doll that my kids still play with) over the manger as he sang "...take us to heaven to sleep on the hay..."~

~How I remember my friend, Nancy's memory verse to this day because it was much easier than mine: "I is for the Inn where Mary and Joseph found no place to stay."

~The year I got to be an angel and my mom let me wear lipstick, even during the reception in the fellowship hall afterwards. (I was very careful so it would last.) I was in about the 3rd grade and I finally got to wear a pretty costume. In the preceding years, I had to memorize verses instead and was so envious of the angels and Mary who didn't do anything but look pretty.

~My oldest daughter's first Christmas pageant right after I met my husband. I was going to that church because of the singles group, but it was a huge church and had a great youth program. She was 4 and only sang a couple of songs, but it is still a great memory.

This evening was a beautifully wrapped package reminding me that these are the times to remember and hold dear~

Monday Memories

2006-11-27T19:48:00.000-05:00

Since this is my debut with a "Monday Memory", I will begin with my own debut.

I was born November 26, 1964. No one but my mother and my brother remembered my actual birthday this year. People remember it is around Thanksgiving, but after that, they forget.

I was born on Thanksgiving Day. According to my mom, she spent the day before browsing in the Dearborn Public Library on Michigan Avenue. (So, I became a librarian.) Later that evening, she told my dad during the Thanksgiving Eve. church service at St. Paul Lutheran that she didn't think she would be in church on Sunday. (I was baptized, confirmed, and married in that same church and remain a Lutheran to this day.)

I remember asking my mom if she was mad that she didn't get to have turkey that year. She told me that they brought some to her, but she was still groggy from the "gas" they used back then. My dad had hamburgers. The important thing to my Dad was that he, like Ford, had a new '64 1/2 model and she was a healthy baby girl. I was indoctrinated early that I was born the year of the Ford Mustang which preceded my birth by 7 months. (The Mustang debuted April 17, 1964).

My birthdays sometimes end up part of a Thankgiving celebration. I remembered turning six on Thanksgiving Day. It was the first time since I was born it was on Thanksgiving. We were in Ohio at my grandparent's home in the country and all of my cousins were there. No one felt sorry for me having a birthday lost to Thanksgiving because my cousin Lisa's birthday was on Christmas Day.

Because of the holiday, many of my birthdays were spent at my grandparent's in Ohio. One year, my uncle got married on the 25th and then I celebrated my birthday the next day. I remember playing with my new Barbie hairstyling head in front of the big color television in their new living room (addition).

Once in a while, I had school on my birthday. I remember when I turned 10, my mom let me open my gifts before school and I wore my new gemstone bracelet to school. My dad picked me up from school and took me to the Ten Eyck Tavern in the Dearborn Inn for lunch. (It wasn't really a tavern, but I do remember seeing my Pastor there having a beer and smoking a cigar!)

Some of my favorite gifts included a deep purple suede wallet my mom bought at Jacobsens, the best shop in town. I got it the year I turned 8 and the following March, it was especially appreciated when I "discovered" Donny Osmond and everything had to be purple! I also got my first pair of ice skates with the $8 check my Aunt Karen sent from Boston.

As I got older, my Christmas and Birthday presents sometimes blurred together. When I was a freshman in college, I got a burgundy velvet lined cello case in October for my birthday and then mom and I went bought my Christmas presents when I was home at Thanksgiving. I think she even let me have them to go back for finals week! They included a monogramed emerald green sweater and matching Gordon Tartan kilt.

The year I turned 21 was conveniently the last day of finals and my fiance and his brother took me to the local liquor store to "get carded". I bought pink champagne and they didn't ask to see my id. I didn't really drink anyway, so that was disappointing. I did get carded at the bar and the bouncer was a cute guy in my history education class. He already knew it was my birthday because we toured the state capital with our class earlier that day instead of having a final exam.

Five years ago, I had just started dating my husband. The first week we dated, we saw each other practically every day, so I was really surprised when he called to see if he could take me out to dinner on my birthday. It was a Monday night and he lived an hour and fifteen minutes away from me. The most memorable part of that evening was when I correctly guessed the names of the Original Six teams of the National Hockey League. I guess it was then and there he decided to marry me.

I've had a few birthdays and many more memories than I can possibly put into words.

Today, my brother gave me a very special birthday wish that I will always remember:

"Happy Birthday!!

I think the words of Mustang Monthly regarding the first 'Stang apply here:

'Even 40(2) years later, the cars are still practical, fun and cool to be seen in.'

Indeed, you are in fact still practical, fun and cool to be seen with.

John" (b. 1967, the year of the Mercury Cougar)

I Cried

2006-11-19T13:16:00.000-05:00

Friday afternoon, I started my car to leave work and tuned in WRJ. A special report just came into the newsroom. Bo Schembechler had died that morning.

I listened in disbelief. Of course, Bo had a history of heart trouble and had a recent episode only two weeks ago. The unbelieveable part, of course was the timing. Bo's beloved University of Michigan Wolverine football team (#2) would play The Ohio State University Buckeyes (#1) in the biggest game of their entire history. To many, Bo Schembechler is MICHIGAN FOOTBALL. My eyes started to tear up as I drove home.

Many of us in the great state of Michigan shared the same experience that November day. For me however, my feelings were unexpected and came out of the blue.

I hated Bo Schembechler!!! My feelings started in a very subtle way. My Dad was getting his Master's Degree from the University of Michigan when I was around 4 or 5. I remember him singing "Hail to the Victors" around the house. I didn't really get any of it as my parents weren't sports fans, so we never watched football at home, but I knew that song. However, my Dad also frequently said, "Oh why oh why did I ever leave Ohio?". Yes, my Dad and Mom were both proud Ohioans living in enemy territory.

I didn't understand this stuff in the early years, but somewhere in elementary school, I learned that people in Michigan liked to make fun of Ohio. Since our family didn't follow sports, I didn't know exactly why. I started to figure some of it out when our neighbor, a local sportscaster, put a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said, "What's a Buckeye? Some Kind of Nut?". We also got a new pastor at church. Pastor K. had degrees from Capital University (OHIO) and Harvard, but he LOVED the Buckeyes and liked to rub it in from the pulpit on that certain November Sunday after the Big Game. His wife, incidently had a degree from the University of Michigan.

In junior high, I once borrowed a long-sleeved polo from my mom and wore it to school. I'm not even sure she bought it because of the color, but showing up to a Michigan school in November wearing scarlet and gray was a big no no. Then I finally understood. I also started to know who Bo and Woody were and why things were the way they were.

In high school during the early '80s, I planned to attend Captial University in Columbus, but for a brief time, I was a Wolverine fan. I was in the Michigan Youth Symphony sponsoed by U of M and attended U of M's All State camp at Interlochen, so I had a legitimate connection to the university in those days. In 1980, I went to Detroit's Metro Airport to welcome back the 1980 Rose Bowl Champion Wolverines. I probably even saw and cheered Bo's return with the team. I bought a big U of M penant at the airport which hung on the wall of my room until I selected the school which would become my "Alma Mater".

It was through my experiences at the University of Michigan School of Music, that I concluded that I didn't not like the University of Michigan. There was an arrogance in the air; to be a Wolverine, you had to believe you were better than anybody else. My cello teacher begged me to audition for U of M and I just did not want to be part of that scene. From football to music, Bo to Bob (Robert Culver, the music ed./string specialist at UM), everything seemed so intensly competitive in a dog-eat-dog kind of way.

I chose Michigan State. Until I walked onto the MSU campus, I didn't even know that Michigan State and U of M were both in the Big 10 and played each other. In time, however, Wolverine Football, lead by Bo Schembechler, became a symbol of the overt arrogance of the University of Michigan.

When I first graduated, co-workers would laugh at me because I went to MSU and not U of M. They didn't even attend college, but they had the audacity to say stuff like that. This was also the year Michigan State won the Rose Bowl. I hate U of M for a long time.

Nearly 20 years later, I've gotten over it or at least I do allow myself to wear the color combination that could be considered Maize and Blue. I started to look at Bo Schembechler differently as well.

After all, Bo is just a good old Ohio boy. My dad always liked to remind people of that fact. Bo meant a lot to a lot of people, even to me. Even to me in a good way. He stressed loyalty and excellence and there is nothing wrong with that!

I watched the game yesterday and wanted to Buckeyes to win, but felt kind of bad that the Wolverines didn't win one for Bo. Alas, Bo held a masters degree from The Ohio State University, and OSU won one for him.

I've blogged about my Buckeye connections here http://mustangmamma.blogspot.com/2005/11/go-bucks.html

Accent on Michigan

2006-11-19T13:03:00.000-05:00

I took this quick quiz that I found on Norma's "Collecting My Thoughts" blog. It seems to be a perfect fit. Standard English. It is probably because my parents were from Ohio, complete with the subtle mid-Ohio accent (as opposed to southern Ohio accents which are stronger). My mother worked extremely hard at ridding herself of any accent and my dad loved to speak Ohioan. So, in my home we knew the difference.

I must add, however, while I'm from Michigan, people from Michigan have a variety of native accents which are not "standard-straight-from-the-dictionary". There's a Blue Collar Detroit timbre my husband has and the Yooper(Upper Penninsula)/Canadian influences in other parts of this great state. In my opinion, these subtle Michigan accents are spoken by natives who have lived here for generations. They may have elements from regions North or South, East or West, but they are uniquely Michigan.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Happy 30th Birthday Baby Brother!

2006-10-30T19:13:00.000-05:00

When I heard the Tigers were headed to the World Series, I thought they would just go on and win it. Then I thought, hey maybe they could win it on my little brother's 30th birthday!? Then my husband informed me that if the Tigers had to return to Detroit to finish the series, my brother's birthday would be a travel day and the Tigers would not even be playing on that date. I felt really dumb for thinking such a silly thing.

Then came the rain...so, yes the Tigers played in the World Series on my brother's 30th birthday. And, The Saint Louis Cardinals won the World Series on October 27, 2006, my little brother's 30th Birthday!

I knew only one thing could cheer Andy up after that loss...his Alma Mater, Vanderbilt beat Duke 45-28 on Saturday. Go Vandy!

Tiger Tales

2006-10-20T13:16:00.000-04:00

Jim, the Piano Tuner’s Son

This morning on Detroit’s WJR, Frank Beckmann invited listeners to phone in wit their Tiger stories. The first caller, Jim from Clinton Township’s story touched my heart. His story was not a spectacular chance meeting with a Tiger player right after the big win or catching the winning ball, but rather a simple personal story much like my own. In 1968, he was 11 years old and part of a big family with not a lot of money to space. His father was a piano tuner who bartered his services at times. During the 1968 season, Jim’s dad tuned a piano in exchange for Tiger tickets and Jim attended the game, witnessing a Tiger’s grand slam (sorry, I missed the player’s name). It was the only game he went to as a kid, but it’s forever in his heart. For me, it’s not just seeing the grand slam by one of the ’68 greats, but how he acquired the tickets and how much the experience means to him even to this very day.

Side Note: Hmmm, I wonder if anyone will tune my piano for a couple of Detroit Red Wings tickets???

Talkin’ Baseball

My own baseball stories are rather scattered and few. I did not come from a sports family although my mom played softball and basketball with her brothers and my paternal grandpa loved football. My non-athletic dad met Cy Young when he was about 10 years old, but I’ll save that story for another day.

In 1968, I was three years old and no one watched or listened to baseball at my house, even if I could remember that summer much, there probably wasn’t much baseball talk. I remember that my best friend’s dad had a bobble head of a tiger from 1968 and eventually I learned the big names. Well, Al Kaline at least. I became acquainted a bit more with Tiger history during my career as a librarian. At one library, my colleague was very active in SABRE, The Society for Baseball Research. Another colleague at yet another job had held season tickets forever. In my current position, I replaced a baseball aficionado who left for another position.

It was during elementary school I became more exposed to sports and Detroit sports legends. During the seventies, our family lived on a court (cul de sac) where our neighbor was a local Detroit sportscaster. [After I originally wrote this, I discovered Don Kremer, our neighbor had been a Tigers broadcaster on Detroit's WWJ]

Mr. Kremer’s kids LOVED sports and he even took the time to teach me how to hold a bat. If I showed anymore interest, I’m sure I could have learned much more, but I was figure skating during a lot of those years and paid more attention to hockey. My younger brother tried Little League on for size and it didn’t fit. My dad tried to help him by playing catch on occasion, but eventually Dad accidently hit him in the head with a baseball and that was a sure sign to try something else. Metro Detroit definitely is a sports town/region and you can’t avoid getting caught up in it. I clearly remember the era of Mark “The Bird” Fidrych and being in the outfield at Howe Elementary School trying to avoid getting hit by a softball at recess.

In 1982, I went off to Michigan State and became a Spartan fan, leaving any loyalty to any other team behind. My little brother started school and discovered the Detroit Tigers. I remember how proud he was of meeting Lance Parrish and getting an autographed picture of him. I also remember my mom telling my how big these ballplayers were in real life!

During my first semester I met my college boyfriend, Roy. He was a baseball fan and loved the Tigers. We started dating seriously late in 1983 and right before he moved to Chicago to take a job, we saw the move The Natural with Robert Redford together. Our next date on his first visit home was to watch the Tigers beat the Seattle Mariners. This was my first Major League game ever and first visit of only two to Tiger Stadium. This was also 1984. During another visit home that summer, Roy took my little brother and me to watch the Tigers beat the Oakland A’s. Of course my little brother was thrilled as this was his first trip to Tiger Stadium and his Detroit Tigers won. This team I will not forget…Kirk Gibson played football and baseball at MSU, Lance, Tram…With a very few exceptions, if I recognize a Tiger player’s name, I assume that guy must have played on that team. Roy even bought an official player’s shirt, the white one with the blue old English D and let me hang onto it to wear when we were apart. I slept in it the entire summer and fall of 1984.

I don’t’ remember the night we won the World Series. I was probably practicing at the Music Building or studying in my dorm room. My roommate was a Cubs fan, so she wasn’t into the Tigers, but her boyfriend was watching, I’m sure. Ralf was MSU’s star kicker and like Kirk Gibson, also played on the MSU baseball team. Mary was always at his dorm and I’m sure she was watching the game and probably partying over there after the victory.

My big memory was the next day. I was working in the basement of Yakeley/Gilchrist dorm cafeteria cleaning off lunch trays when everyone was talking about it. I doubt if that was the first time I heard of the win, but it is a very clear memory of that time in my life and that day of pride in Detroit’s Pride!

Years past and my interest and awareness of baseball came and went. In October of 2001, my colleague encouraged me to take my then 4 year old daughter out to the ballgame. The Tigers were losing and because of 9-11, no one was going to the games much. He assured me that getting tickets would be easy and parking would be safe. The new Comerica Park was right down the street from where I worked at Detroit Public Library, so I took my little girl to her first Tigers game the day before the last game of the 2001 season. We “toured” the ballpark and played on the bleachers and finally ended up moving down to seats right over the dugout and visiting with “Paws” the mascot and enjoying the beautiful day. Suddenly, Tigers player, Damon Easley batted a ball into the stands. Gloves went up surrounding us. The next thing I knew, that baseball was sitting right between my little girl’s feet!!! We were offered money for that darn thing, but I picked it up and said “no way!”. My Tiger fan friends from work were super jealous when I took it in for show and tell. Damon Easley was traded so I never tried to get it autographed. However, the next year I was working as a children’s librarian and bought a kids’ book about the Detroit Tigers and it had Damon Easley on the cover. I should buy a copy for my daughter to keep with “her ball”. For now it remains on a shelf next to a picture of my little girl holding her Tigers “beanie baby” and the ball.

Within a month of that memorable game, I met my husband. He is a hockey player and I finally got to go to my first Detroit Red Wings game and they won the Stanley Cup a couple months after we married in 2002. For the last few years, hockey hasn’t left a lot of room for baseball.

2006 saw a return to baseball in our home and it had nothing to do with the acquisition of Jim Leland, the Tigers new manager. Well before Opening Day, Tom and I took in the Baseball in America exhibit at the Henry Ford Museum. Since the Wings were out of the playoffs early, I noticed Tom started watching the Tigers early in the season. He also started to play softball with our church league and is quite the pitcher. It turned out to be a real baseball summer. Even my 3 year old talked about baseball and tried to play in the backyard with the help of her big sister. There was so much baseball in our house I almost forgot about hockey this summer! The Tigers season was just icing on the cake.

It is fun to remember too that Tigers owner Mike Illich also owns the Detroit Red Wings. We took in a Wings game and as soon as the Tigers won last Friday night, the aisles at Joe Louis Arena filled up with Tiger Blue and Orange! Another good day for Detroit, even if the Wings lost in a shoot out!

My secret hope is that the Tigers win the World Series by my little brother’s birthday, October 27. He was just about to turn 8 and I was looking at 20 the last time the Tigers Roared in ’84. Now he’s looking at 30!!!

Go Get ‘Em Tigers!!!!

Gas Prices

2006-09-18T13:22:00.000-04:00

We bought gas in Mansfield Ohio this weekend for $2.12!! We figured it was because Ohio didn't have the same kind of gas tax we have in Michigan. Then we pondered the beautiful, smooth Ohio roads. Did the Turnpike pay for the maintenance of all of them?? Even the barely more than a cowpath, poorly marked roads in Morrow County were nice!!

Today, just north of Michigan's richest county,(Oakland) I paid $2.23 and thought that was great. That was until saw $2.09 (with your Kroger card)in Flint Township. (The City of Flint is considered to be the poorest place in Michigan right now.)

It was good to see lower gas prices in Michigan, but construction abounds on our roads and it's almost "salt season"!

Michigan's Governor's Race

2006-07-25T12:48:00.000-04:00

NOt much time to think, let alone blog. However, here are some quick thoughts about Michigan and her governor's race.

Jennifer Grandholm has trashed our state. Our economy is in the pits and everywhere else it is improving. Dick De Vos is running against her and should have no trouble winning just by the mere fact that he is not Jennifer Grandholm. He is down to business and down to earth. However, he is a bit lacking in the charisma department. Michigan loves the charismatic and Jenny is as slick as slick:

Example One: Guy graduates from the University of Michigan. Loves Ann Arbor, but leaves to make it big. Makes it big. Returns to Ann Arbor with his big company offering 1000 high paying jobs. After all, he LOVES his Alma Mater and her city, Ann Arbor. Google arrives in Michigan filled with promises simply because a Univeristy of Michigan Alum wants to repay his debt to his beloved college town.
JENNY GRANDMA HOLM takes all of the CREDIT!!!!!

My husband is a "man on the street"/Joe Coca-Cola/Hockey Night in Canada kind of guy. (No, he's not Canadian--but Grandholm was) Anyway, my husband has no big interst in politics and didn't think Grandholm had a chance until he saw her twist the Google thing to meet her needs. He tells his customers and buddies what really happened and most of them thought Grandma-holm personally recruited Google for Michigan and that she has done a wonderful thing bringing in all these jobs! I'm glad he's campaigning because I'm too tired to fight off the slick and slimy this campaign season.

Sorry this is such sloppy prose. >y writing energy was expended this week writing a goodbye letter to my caregiver and a note to the Friend of the Court explaining why I had requested an investigation regarding a possible increase in child support after 9 years.

Pentecost continues...

2006-06-15T11:41:00.000-04:00

Composition date: June 12, 2006

“Pentecost continues...”

...read the bulletin insert at our church this Sunday.

During our Pentecost celebration last Sunday, I sat in the midst of our entire congregation holding candles, all attired in the red color of Pentecost. I felt only embers in my heart. Who or what threw sand on the flames~the passion I had for serving my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Then, within a fragment of time, He began to fan my ashes and the embers began to ignite. As the candles were extinguished, I was invited to serve Him, once again.

Several weeks ago, my husband volunteered to serve as adult leader for our Confirmation campers. Since my husband is a youth group leader and not one of the catechism teachers, he was not the pastor’s first choice to attend. In addition, my husband would only go if our family could join him at camp. With those things in mind, we wrote off the possibility of us serving in this way.

God had flames to fan~

At the conclusion of our Pentecost service, one of our youth volunteers informed us that my husband would be going to be the adult leader at Confirmation camp and our family had been approved to stay at the camp with him. So, next Sunday, my husband, almost three year-old, and myself will be heading back to Stony Lake Lutheran Camp. It will have been 27 years since I had my last Stony Lake adventure and 33 years since my husband last graced her shores.
The picture on the left is my husband when he was on the maintenance staff at Tecumseh Woods Lutheran Camp, the "sister" camp to Stony Lake in 1973 or 1974. I have a picture of him at Stony Lake, but he's holding some "girlfriend's" hand and I can't seem to find it. (Smile)
The picture on the right is me at Stony Lake the summer of 1974. Last night we were laughing at the irony of the fact that my husband was on camp staff the same summer I went the first time. Our church used to alternate between the two camps, and it was just happenstance that I went to Stony Lake instead of Tecumseh Woods in the first place.

But wait, there is more to the story~

I mentioned to the woman making our camp arrangements, that while I am officialy going to camp because my husband is going, I am interested in working with the church's youth as well. She e-mailed me back sharing a "desparate need" for women to work in small groups with middle school and high school girls. They need women who do not have children that age. Like myself, the woman I was speaking with doesn't, but her third baby arrived last Thursday. I fit the bill it sure seemed like God was dropping a bit hint.

Earlier this year our church held a simulcast of "Every Young Woman's Battle". I was unable to attend, but I had expressed an interest in this type of ministry. Apparently, I didn't speak loud enough, since I missed several meetings on the subject. After I talked with our "camp arranger", I spoke to our pastor's wife who is working on establishing this ministry and we met on Monday. We are going to meet with some middle school age girls tonight.

I have a lot of passion for this kind of ministry. I think we are in a spiritual battle today and young women and men need to be equipped. My life experiences have led to this point and I know God can use me...so I release this to Him. But boy, am I getting nerv...I mean excited about tonight!!!!

...Sunday's bulletin insert concluded with Matthew 5:16, my Confirmation verse:
"Even so let your light shine before men; that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven".

and so I shall~

Donny Osmond

2006-06-15T10:52:00.000-04:00

Composition date: June 10, 2006

It has been ten years since I “met” my hero Donny Osmond. The following is a slightly edited version of what I wrote in my journal at the time of the event:

June 11, 1996
[Former husband] took me to “meet” Donny Osmond. I really doubted that I would even get to see him, let alone get an autograph. [Former husband] insisted that I would meet Donny personally. [Former husband] was one of the only men there and is very tall. He used this to his advantage and took some snapshots of Donny signing autographs while I waited at the back of the very long line. He didn’t even stay in line and at one point I gave [former husband] the liner notes from my soundtrack to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and he went up to where Donny was and asked how long he would be able to stay. As [former husband] asked the question, Donny signed the liner notes of my cd. When [former husband] returned, I was so absolutely thrilled, I was ready to leave. [Former husband] insisted that we stay.

While in line, we spent a few minutes talking with a woman holding a photograph of her son with Donny. Her son was in the children’s chorus of Joseph with Donny last fall. [Former husband] went back up and asked Donny to personally autograph the woman's photograph to her son. Along with the woman’s autographed photo, [former husband] returned with a b&w photo of Donny as “Joseph” autographed to me. In my hands, I had much more than I ever dreamed and could have gone home a very happy woman.

We continued to wait...

When I was about to meet this man who kept me straight and inspired and sane all those years, I knew it had to be special. I just spouted out, “I’ve waited 23 years for this" and gave him a hug and he hugged me back. Just then, [former husband] called out my name and snapped the best picture I have ever had taken in my life.

I still can’t believe I had the guts to hug Donny Osmond, but I’m so glad I did. I owe a lot to him and his family and that was my thanks. [Former husband] said Donny had a big smile on his face when I hugged him and [former husband] thanked Donny for the autographs and posing for the picture.

When we took the pictures in to be developed, the woman printed a ton of copies and started calling me, “The Donny Girl".

June 10, 2006

Whenever I see that picture, which I still keep on a shelf in my home, I remember that young eight-year old girl who had tons of dreams and ideas, along with a big crush on Donny Osmond. A couple months after that day, I became pregnant with my first born daughter and her favorite lullaby was, “Puppy Love”.

I had the opportunity to see Donny Osmond performing in person three times in my life. My dad took me to a free concert at the Michigan State Fair in 1978; I saw him in Joseph and the Amazing Techincolor Dreamcoat in the fall before the picture was taken; and most recently, I saw him perform in concert at Detroit’s Fox Theatre 2001. I still buy anything he records including a song on the soundtrack to Mulan.

While it has been ten long years since that day in June, I still admire Donny Osmond. He's been through life's ups and downs, some in the public eye and yet he's retained his integrity. That’s a lot more than we can say for some of ourselves and certainly the images of popular stars today. Donny Osmond is also a wonderful singer and whether he is performing his old hits, Broadway favorites, Christmas music, or his own material, he makes me feel a hopeful connection between my childhood dreams and my future opportunities.

June 14 update: I just checked out www.donny.com and learned that Donny will play Gaston in Beauty and the Beast on Broadway this fall.

Rotary Phone Calls

2006-06-09T16:26:00.000-04:00

I have a fuzzy memory of frantically dialing my boyfriend's phone number to return his long-awaited phone call. Long after most families had a push-button phone, my parents retained the rotary phones, one desk type and one on the wall.

We have a phone very similar to this one in the hall of our home, just in case. Occasionally, we'll pick it up to answer the phone, but as it is corded, I only made a call from it once when the power was out. The other day, however, my daughters and I were upstairs when my eldest decided that she should make a phone call. I told her to go ahead and continued to bathe the little one. A couple minutes later, my nine-year old returned to asked me how to make the phone call. It took me a second to remember that while we routinely talk about dialing the phone, we rarely actually do it anymore! I tried to give her a quick lesson in the art of rotary phone use from the bathroom, but soon realized that she needed hands-on instruction.

I sometimes think about the obsolescence of things like record albums or b&w televisions, but I hadn't yet mused about the passing of the rotary phone!

Small Proportions

2006-06-09T11:55:00.000-04:00

"In small proportions we just beauties see and in short measures life may perfect be."
~Ben Jonson

This picture is from a couple of years ago. I made the '50's Girl' skirts per my big girl's request. I didn't plan to make one for my little girl, but since I had extra supplies and a crafty husband who downsized the pattern, both girls enjoyed cats and crinolines at our church's Halloween party.

{I got to practice using our scanner at work since I "fixed" it. It was unplugged!}

Mamma's Mammogram

2006-06-06T16:09:00.000-04:00

I got my mammogram results yesterday. It was a routine screening and I wasn't really concerned except when I let myself think about all the women who have abnormal ones. I said a quick prayer of thanks for my own good result. I followed that with prayers for those who have have scary results, for all those survivors, and finally for those who have been lost. Age really has no bearing...I know of more women younger than myself than I know of older women. My aunt was 55 and her two daughters were 39 and 36. To my aunt and older cousin, it was merely a chapter in their life story. Both are over the 5 year mark, almost ten years have passed. My younger cousin completed treatment a year ago and barely told a sole what she was going through. She danced in the Nutcracker a couple weeks after she completed treatment. So far so good for her, too.

Prayers go out to all women for we are all impacted by breast cancer in some way or another.

Young Mom Update

2006-06-03T09:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I went in for my mammogram. The first one I had was in the big city at 35 (baseline) and it was a terrible experience as the technicians for snooty and it took a long time. Now that I go in a smaller town, I'm usually done before my appointment time and the technicians are so much more pleasant.

Since I barely fill out an A Cup, I always laugh when they ask if I have implants. This time, however the answers regarding the ages at which my children were born led me to a really great conversation with my technician. She said, "So you were 38 when you had a baby? I'm 37 and I'm 16 weeks pregnant, so that's so good to hear!" I told her about the gossipy girls at the dental office and we both had a great laugh. I left there feeling so good about my age and babies. (Of course, I'm praying for good results from the routine-every-year-over forty mammogram.)

In the evening I was talking to my neighbor and she made a comment that it was time for my husband and I to have another baby. I laughed and said that was not likely. I told that my hands were full and reminded her of my husband's pending 50th in July. As this neighbor works at my dentist and referred me there, I shared the story of the gossipers. She told me that the woman bragging about having her baby young didn't plan it that way either...

On this same subject, please join me in praying for a couple who is hoping for a baby to love. The mom-in-hoping is 36 and had breast cancer at 28. She was told that it is possible for her to conceive, but she has now had four miscarriages. They are looking into adoption, but may proceed with an in-vitro attempt also. However they are blessed, that child will truly be loved.

Young Mom's Gossip

2006-06-01T11:44:00.000-04:00

Today I took my nine year old to have some dental work. As I sat alone in the waiting room, tending to my knitting, I listened in on the chatty office staff. The subject soon turned to the benefits of having children at a young age.

One young woman told the other that even though she knows that 27 isn't old to become a mom, it seems old to her because she had her baby at a much younger age. (I'm guessing from her looks and conversations that she has an infant and is about 20-23 years old). Then she went on to blab about how she'll only be 38 when her kid graduates high school and on and on about being young and having fun blab, blab, blab...I wanted to scream and being impulsive by nature, I'm very proud that I kept my dignity!

I wanted to have a baby while I was still in high school (I also wanted to marry my boyfriend before I had a baby while I was in high school!) I didn't intend to have my babies at such an OLD AGE (32 and 38, which isn't all that OLD!), but that is when my blessings were born.

In my case, I made choices...some bad, some good. I married the wrong men...men who weren't meant to be fathers. I finally had my first baby (after a miscarriage at 30)because I figured I wasn't going to leave my second marriage and I dearly wanted to be a mom and we thought we were going to make it work. I was 32 and we separated when she was two months old and divorced thereafter. I did not put motherhood on hold for a career or have a couple abortions to postpone it, I became a mom when I was meant to become a mom!!!!

Following my divorce, I still hoped for another child, but mostly wanted to be in God's will. God's will was for me to wait on HIM!

When I married my husband at 37, we were ready for whatever God wanted for us. Then we started to figure it wasn't meant to be. But, after nine months of marriage we became pregnant. I was almost 38 and he was 47. My husband always wanted kids too, but after an early marriage to an unfaithful woman, he was single for 19 years and parenthood was on hold, too.

It was not for my own situation that I was so angry, but for all those couples who desperately hope to become parents and are finally blessed at a later age. Many of them have gone through a lot of pain and struggle and hope. It is not always about putting off parenthood for a career or financial stability, etc. Sometimes, it is just God's timing and not ours.

Lately I have been struggling with my age and the ages of my kids. I'm the oldest mom in my nine-year old's class...I can't wait until my baby starts school. My mom had my little brother at 38 and went through some of this, I'm sure. I just remind myself that this is God's will. God blessed me with two very easy preganancies and a strong body to raise my very healthy babies and I'm happy to be in HIS WILL. HE knew what He was doing.

I heard an ad for AAA insurance the other day. In it the narrator talks about a person buying a convertable to haul golf clubs in. It says something like this: Now you don't have to worry about squabbles in the back seat or animal crackers between the cushions...you are fifty and it is your turn...Oh, boy!!! Oh, brother!!!

I asked my husband, who will turn fifty the same month his daughter turns three about this. It doesn't even phase him...he is confident in his youthful spirit and heart and great love for his dear darling daughter (and step-daughter!!!).

Please, just remember to think before you judge. If one becomes a parent at a younger age because they choose to, that is usually acceptable, especially when they are married. If someone becomes a parent at a younger age and didn't intend to, it is usually because they made a decision of some sort(like to have sex and/or not use birth control). In the case of older parents, it isn't so obvious as to why they have babies later. Becoming a parent at an older age may include some drawbacks and problems and having babies at a younger age may be best. Keep in mind, however, "older" parents don't always choose the birthdates of their babies. And, they aren't always "accidents", as some occassionally refer to babies born later in life. Some parents intended to have babies when they were younger for the same reasons young parents had their babies when they did.

I almost wish I would have walked up to those chatty cathy's at the dentist with my white hair and toddler in tow and given them a piece of my mind! Maybe if my toddler were with me, I would have. But then they could blame my age on the fact that I was mad at them...they've seem me wrestle with her in the office and probably attribute it to having her at my age!

Mustang Mamma

2006-05-26T13:35:00.000-04:00

Here is a list of some of the things I end up doing in my car, aka Mamma's Mustang. I do them in my car because I can't seem to get them done in my house for a variety of reasons. These are NOT things I do while driving:

*I put on my make-up. The light is better and the vanity mirror is closer than my bathroom mirror. The kids are secured in the back and not running around making last minute messes or putting on my make-up themselves. (This is ususally done in our driveway on the way to school, church, or work.)

*I make phone calls. Sometimes after an outing in the car, my toddler falls asleep. Since she will wake-up when I move her and my cell phone reception is best in my driveway, the car can make a great office from which to make appointments or check in with my husband, chat with my mom, or make plans with friends.

*I clip and clean up my kid's finger nails (and toenails, if exposed). Little kiddie clippings are easily ignored or vacumed out (I know to some this is very gross, but there are bugs crawling around that are bigger!)

*I style my kids' hair. A wiggly toddler cooperates better in the car seat! Even my nine-year old who hates to comb her hair manages to get it done in there (in her case, usually enroute).

*I file and polish my nails. I have hereditarily ugly nails and just feel better with a good coat of clear or pale polish on them. When I became a mom, I learned that I couldn't predict when I could paint my nails and not get them all smeared, even late at night. (I would inevitably fall asleep and end of with sheet marks.) So, since I have a 20-30 minute commute to work or church, I get them ready ahead of time and apply 2-three coats of polish when I'm ready to leave, carefully put the car into reverse, and by the time I'm at work, they're good to go.

*I knit. Whenever I'm early somewhere, I relish the minutes I can work on a project. My knitting is always with me, just in case. If the kids are with me, we just keep talking and my hands keep moving.

*I do my Devotions. When the weather is nice, I enjoy spending my lunchtime in my car. I can focus better in there than a lot of places. When my daughter was really little, I would take her sister to school, pick up some coffee, and park while she slept a little and I would do my devotions. Those days are over, but it was a nice little respite.

*My favorite thing to do at lunchtime in good weather is to knit and listen to talk radio or knit and read a good novel. I usually listen to Rush and I'm currently reading "The Kite Runner", although I rarely read fiction. It is a great book and my sweater is almost done.

*I have breastfed both babies in my car on many occasions...in parking lots when I can't find a nice woman's lounge, or on the road to my brother's graduation from Vanderbilt. I covered up with a nursing "cape" so I doubt that anyone but baby knew what I was doing!

*I used a breastpump in my car once or twice. Most of the time, I could do my pumping at work, but a couple times I had to be at a conference. So, I got a car adapter for the pump and one of those windshield covers. I donned my nursing cape and I doubt if anyone was the wiser.

***For the record: While I have done a lot of child care activities, I never did anything in my car to create a baby;)

Summer Camp

2006-05-25T10:34:00.000-04:00

One day in the Spring of 1974, when I was nine, I came home from Girl Scouts begging to go to camp with the Girl Scouts for two weeks during the summer. My mom informed me that I could not go, but she wanted to send me to church camp with two other girls from my church. It was only for one week and I did not really like the girls who were going to go with me. They were a year older and had never been very nice to me, so I cried and begged and begged and cried over this decision.

After a summer of swimming and sunshine, the second week of August had finally arrived. By then, I was looking forward to my new adventure. My mom had been a camp cook at Camp Minwanna, a Lutheran Camp in Ohio and assured me that I would have a lot of fun. Now that I have a nine-year old, I can't believe she sent me off so far away for so long!

The first day was horrible, but by day two, I was in love: with Jesus, with the out doors, with the cute guy counselors...I spent one week every summer from 1974-1979 and can't remember anything bad after that first day when I accidently kicked my friend-from-my-home-church-that-never-liked-me and gave her a bloody nose.

During those five weeks, there were many, many highlights...praising God with song morning, noon, and night..."I am the Resurrection-Hey-and the Life!"; sleeping out on the shores of Lake Michigan, hiking the Silver Lake Sand Dunes, "levitating" our pastor on a confirmation camp overnight; a sunset kiss on the 89 (?) steps down to Stony Lake proper (I know, I know, it was Church Camp...and ninth grade!)...

The funniest Stony Lake Lutheran Camp memory of all however, happened in the fall of 2001. The man who would become my husband had called to arrange a time for the two of us to get together and practice music for our Sunday School's music team. We met at a Presbyterian church and I was telling him that I was really Lutheran. He said that he was too. The Lutheran Church he attended was a "mission church" of my childhood church home. When I mentioned where I went to church growing up, I also mentioned that I had met a lot of kids from his church at Stony Lake and the Bass Lake Music Festival. To this, my husband-to-be excitedly replied, "you went to Stony Lake and Bass Lake??? I went to Stony Lake for two weeks of Confirmation Camp, one week Sail Camp, and one of Leadership Training. Then I worked at the (former) Tecumseh Woods Lutheran Camp as the maintenance guy for two summers, when I was 16 and 17." He was part of the camp ministry a few years before I started going there, but he still has the same songbook we used and knew a lot of the same people. One of his closests friends, whom he met at Tecumseh Woods Lutheran Camp, went to high school with my first camp counselor at Stony. This shared background turned out to be our initial bond as friends.

Stony Lake Lutheran Camp is still an active part of "Living Water Ministries", a mission shared with Lower Michigan Synods and the ELCA. Tecumseh Woods was sold when the ALC merged with the LCA and acquired Michi-Lu-Ca Conference Center and Camp (where my ex-husband went to church retreats). The Bass Lake Music Festival, originally held at Pleasant Hill, another ALC camp, is now held at Michi-Lu-Ca each August.

This spring, our confirmation kids were scheduled to attend Michi-Lu-Ca for camp, but plans had to be changed. They are now attending Stony Lake Lutheran Camp this summer, just as we did many years ago. My husband volunteered us as adult leaders for the trip, but we needed some special considerations and I don't think we will be going. However, it was sure fun to dream of a return!

As for the Girl Scout camp...I did get there for a weekend winter camp and as a strange twist, we now live a short distance from that very same camp!

Why I Don't Blog Like I'd Like

2006-05-25T10:15:00.000-04:00

I want to share a bit of the reason that I don't blog as much as I would like.

We do not have internet access at home any longer. The reason for that is for another post to come. As for my blogging, this means I have to write my blog at home, save it to a disk and download it at the library in order to post. In addition, my 2 3/4 year old likes to contribute to my computer work and that limits me to short spurts of creativity and not so much time for proofing the content. (Not to mention that I have a jillion other interests and my brain power is easily strained...I tend to sit and knit mindlessly when I have a minute to myself.)

I am going to continue to try to post during my work breaks and aim for one night a week of writing at home for a real posting. We'll see.

Another big thanks to Norma who continually encourages me in the endeavor and inspires many of my postings...particularly related to LIBRARIES/OHIO/LUTHERANS/MUSIC/ARCHITECTURE, etc.

Another note: My "other" blog is presently just a name. I plan to get started with it this weekend, so maybe Tuesday, it will be activated:)

I Am Not Depressed...

2006-03-17T13:18:00.000-05:00

I wrote this back in March as I was going through the process of getting treatment for the ADHD I have for which I have compensated my entire life. I never got back to it to post it, so I'll share this today, along with an update.

MARCH 17, 2006:

I don't have an official psychiatric diagnosis that I am not depressed, but I'm close of obtaining that.

When I do get cleared of the label of "Depressed Person", I will gladly take back my original label, "hyperactive". Well, it won't be my original "label", which a back in 1972 was "hyperactive", but it will be the same (AD/HD)diagnosis I had at age 7.

I have been intermitantly seeking treatment for this trait/ailment/disorder/dysfunction ever since I supposedly outgrew it and stopped treatment (Ritalin and Cylert) when I was about 10 or 11. In college, I was declared bipolar...only according to my memory, my journals, and my mother, I was neither manic nor depressive. Sometimes I would talk to a counselor for a little while and we would realize I wasn't depressed and I would stop counseling. Other times I would see a physician who would pass out anti-depressants like candy. (Not really, back in my twenties I took Prozac for about three months twice.)

At twentysomething, I read somewhere that adults can have ADHD...and certainly believed that I still had it. I wanted babies in my thirties, so I adapted and coped as opposed to seeking medical treatment. I took up cross-stitch to help my concentration...I was really good at it because I hyperfocused.

When baby number two was about a year, an article in the New York Times Magazine caught my eye. It was about adult AD/HD and the subject was a librarian. They said that she was in the worst possible profession for someone with ADHD...of course, panic set in upon reading the article because I was really supposed to be ordering books at the reference desk, but was distracted by the non-book review articles in the NYT!

I talked to my psychologist about my history and current situation. I had been seeing her for over a year and when she reviewed her notes, she concluded the same things I did. She said I could see the psychiatrist and get an official diagnosis, but I could also see my family doc about medication that would help.

I went to see my famiy doctor, filled with hope. However, I was still nursing my baby and didn't want to wean her just yet...she was 13 months old, so I figured we weren't nursing all the much and didn't think she'd get a lot of medicine laced breast milk at that point even if I did take something. When he said that he couldn't give me anything for ADHD until she was weaned, I burst out in tears. He insisted I needed an anti-depressant and I left the office devastated. (KEY FACTOR: tears and feelings of devastation upon leaving the office in contrast to hopefulness upon coming in to the office indicates I was upset by what transpired and not from depression!)

The next morning, I decided that the night before was the last time I would nurse my baby and I started the Zoloft. It was okay, but the only real difference I noticed was I was eating more than when I was a nursing mom and I was even more sleepy. I took that for nine months along with trying some nutritional changes...I cut out all sweeteners for about 6 weeks. That made a much bigger difference than the meds alone. Unfortunately, I saw a physicians assistant at my physical and complained that the Zoloft made me super sleepy...she put me on Effexor...now I had an even more ravenous appetite...and craved the carbs more than before.

I dumped the Effexor in September. I wasn't sad at all, but I was terribly frustrated and had all the adhd symptoms in the book, but now I was now mistaking them for depression. I coped as I always have...tolerably, but not well. I just didn't want to be that sleepy or that ravenous again.

In January, we had some family issues that I was really struggling with and told my doctor that, "I need something, but I can't deal with something that will make me gain weight...I am way to obsessed with food and weight to take something that will make that issue worse". Because Meridia is appetite suppressant with a mild anti-depressent, he let me try it. Because I am not obese, I could only take it for a month. The plan was that I would take Meridia for a month and then try Lexapro after that first month.

I did very well on Meridia. Not only did I stop overeating and lost 6 pounds in a month, I was able to concentrate better and I stopped my compulsive spending. (My spending has never been out of control, I just buy stupid stuff to cheer myself up...like a candle, cheap make-up product, stuff to get organized with, etc.)

I started Lexapro in February. I started with half the dosage and maybe I felt a little better, but our family problems were starting to clear up, too. The big thing was that I was super sleepy, overeating (more than a nursing mom, again), and my concentration started going again.

I complained to the doc and he said to take more of it, that I am probably suffering from a major depression. My therapist thought so too, until I finally enlightened him this past Tuesday.

March 14 was our third session. I was so upset about a marital issue on my first visit, I neglected key aspects of my history...like the ADHD and Ritalin. Oops. When I gave him the whole run-down, including my mom's comments and report cards where the teacher in Kindergarten called me hyperactive, he gave me a quick assessment. He also asked me about my mood swings and was pretty certain that I was not bipolar, not even a mild case. By the time I left the office, I had an appointment with an ADHD specialist and my therapist was pretty well-convinced that it was ADHD and not depression.

UPDATE: I spent about 15 minutes with the psychiatrist on March 28...she primarily review how various medications had worked in order to prescribe the correct treatment. At 11:00, I took my first 18 mg of Concerta (a from of Ritalin) and by 12:00, I knew I found the right medication.

I am not perfect, nor cured, sometimes hyper, sometimes still can't focus, sometimes I'm still sad,...but I'm only taking enough medication (36 mg.)to take the edge off of the hardest challenges and I'm NOT taking stuff I don't need.

I started another blog about this stuff (no posts, yet), so I won't be blogging specifically about ADHD here. However, in sharing this factoid, maybe you will understand why some of my posts are written in such disorganized manner at times. (Smile)

Book Reviews

2006-03-09T12:23:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am still a practicing librarian, so if you happen to stumble upon my blog because you wanted to read blogs by (conservative) librarians, here's one for you...

I'm behind on my book ordering, so I'm reading older reviews. As I was perusing the November 15, 2005 Library Journal, I stumbled upon the article entitled, The State of the Union by Karl Helicher. It is a compilation of the reviews of "Nine new books on Red State and Blue State politics".

Well, true to form, reviews of books written from the Red State/Conservative/Republican angle or slightly critical of the Blue Staters, conclude with statements such as "...libraries can pass on this one". One title on morality and the presidency is considered to be "...of limited value for public libraries". "Not a necessary purchase." was the statement granted to a Bush bashing book because it also faulted the Democrats.

On the other hand, the numerous reviews of books pro Blue State, conclude with such sentiments as, "Strongly recommended...", "...suitable for public libraries", "recommended for public libraries, " and the ever popular, "Highly recommended for public and academic libraries". These titles alone are very telling: Off Center: The Republican Revolution and the Erosion of American Democracy and How the Republicans Stole Christmas: The Republican Party's Declared Monopoly on Religion and What Democrats Can Do to Take it Back, among other similiarly sentimented titles.

I didn't expect any different from the very reliable, ever biased Library Journal.

While on the topic of book reviews, I will give a nod to my colleague for his collection development dilligence. I noticed a copy of the National Review in his brief case and I mentioned that my Dad subscribes to that for me. He said that his Dad subscribes to it for him, hoping it will be a good incluence on him. My colleague then shared the he personally subscribes to Mother Jones and Reason. I said, "well, it is important to get a balance of views". He agreed and said that he uses the NR book reviews when he purchases books for his other job

4 Things

2006-02-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

Well, no one actually tagged me personally, but Greg McClay of SHUSH kinda tagged all of his readers, so here goes:

4 Jobs I've Had

1.Sales clerk at the Henry Ford Museum store.
2.Maintenance worker in Wilson Hall at Michigan State University
3.Night closer at Arby's
4.Delivered the Dearborn Press & Guide newspaper (With a little red wagon.)

4 Movies I Watch Over and Over

1.National Treasure (I could have been the hot archivist babe...)
2.Miracle (I think I like this better than my hockey playing husband does.)
3.Hope Floats (A favorite when I was a single mom)
4.Amadeus (I held the record of all my music school colleagues for watching it the most in 1984/85 and all my viewings were in a theatre.

4 Places I've Lived

1. Dearborn, Michigan
2. East Lansing, Michigan
3. Plymouth, Michigan
4. Lapeer County, Michigan

4 TV Shows

1.Lost

I watched a lot more when I had cable...no, not really I just kept Fox News Channel on all evening.

4 Websites

1.SHUSH
2. A couple blogs
I don't really have any favorite websites...

4 Vacations Spots

1. Boston/Sommerville to visit little brother
2. Nashville to visit little brother at Vandy
3. Brevard, N.C. to visit little brother at music camp
4. Ohio to visit extended family

Just once I'd like to pick a destination for the fun of it...I don't even know where I would go...

4 Foods

1.Little Caesar's Pizza
2.Spaghetti made by my husband.
3.Steak and mashed potatoes.
4.Mexican (almost) anything

4 Places I'd Rather Be

1. Just one weekend alone with my husband. (He went on a mission trip last year, but I haven't had one night away from the baby since she was born (she's 2 1/2).
2. Cuddled up with my kids and husband.
3. I don't know...someplace where I can just sit and cuddle my kids or knit and read and not chase kids

4 Vehicles

1. 2004 Mustang (Red)
2. 1995 Mustang (Deep Forest Green)
3. 1989 Mustang (Midnight Blue Metallic)
4. 1980 Fairmont (White) [My dad bought this for me and I passed it down to my brother when I bought the first Mustang]

I don't know how to tag...so feel free to be tagged.

Unintended Consequences

2005-12-20T09:42:00.000-05:00

I was looking at the feminist movement which got me to thinking about a couple other well-intended movements.

Many movements start with the best of motives: unions, affirmative action, etc. What happens that makes them get so messed up???

Look at the auto industry, Michigan in particular. Everywhere else, the economy is up except Michigan. Michigan is a highly unionized state...Everything that goes into the making of a car is unionized (except the white collar guys who get most of the union benefits too). Well, car companies have to pay for the union employees somehow, therefore the price of cars goes up. The unions want more and more and the car companies have to charge more and more. Guys working of the line at GM make way more than someone working with a Master's Degree in a library...way, way, way more. My brother the architect was absolutely incredulus when he found out how much more money his buddies could make at Ford on the line than he could after struggling through hours and hours of college calculus. Granted, neither my brother or myself would never want to work on the assembly line, but now we can't even buy the cars they build! And you wonder why they want to outsource jobs??? Even building a car in Tennessee is much less expensive than Michigan and it is because the honorable idea of the union got carried away.

I am not even going to get into affirmative action. All I know is that if I were a black woman who worked very hard to get into a high level position, the last thing I would want is someone to think that I was there only because I was black and a woman. And I wouldn't want my collegues to resent and disrespect me for it.

Refining My Views

2005-12-20T08:50:00.000-05:00

As I've stated before, I am in a process of growth and am refining my values. Norma of "Collecting My Thoughts" posted a very articulate comment regarding the feminist movement. As usual, Norma is right on target.

My mom was one of the few moms who stayed home and outside of a few occassional violin lessons, never earned money herself once she became a mother. However, she did a lot regarding the management of the household that saved money. She also sacrificed for us...we don't have a newborn picture of me because my mom was afraid it cost too much. While we had every lesson we ever wanted, we only went on a family vacation twice. My parents once went to Toronto alone after mom had a miscarriage. I am so glad that they are able to travel a little bit now. Of course, do they take a trip to Germany, the ancestral home of both families and Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms? No, they visit my brother and his wife in Boston and family in Ohio!

The women I know that stay home or plan to stay home either worked and saved before their kids were born or earn money from home. Mary Kay, Tupperware, Avon... One of my daughter's friends mom sews and raises goats. She's not part of a cult or strange sect...that's just how she helps the family's income. My trouble is that I got it into my head that you get a degree and do a specific job using that degree. I need to change my mindset regarding myself or I'll never get anywhere.

Norma has once again helped me refine my thinking. Feminism did have an important role. However, I think it had some unintended consequenses, including some poorly raised children, clueless and lazy men, and very confused women.

Again my apologies for any poorly stated comments...I'm too tired to refine my writing right now!

Feminism

2005-12-16T08:21:00.000-05:00

A couple months ago, I stumbled upon a website called Ladies Against Feminism. It made me cry. I yearn to be like those women. At my very core, my heart's desire has always been to serve God and to be a wife, a mamma to as many babies as God would give me, keep a pretty house, play my cello, sing, sew, write, maybe even cook. I have always hated wearing pants and I'm not cut out to work outside of the home and I never was...

This is an unedited-stream-of-consciousness-diatribe about my thoughts on this topic:

When I went to college, I went to become a music teacher and then a librarian. I chose the library profession because I thought it was one where I could work part-time just in case we needed extra money in an emergency. When I wanted to quit school to become a wife and mother, my mom encouraged me to stay and finish and it would help me be a better mom. [I think my background might actually make me a great homeschooling parent, but that's another story.] I am a perfect case study of someone who got caught in the feminist trap without even knowing it.

When I was in the third grade, we lived down the street from the homes where new doctors lived during their residency. One of the moms had three young children and needed a little help. She offered me five cents an hour to help out. Mrs. V. was an emergent feminist in 1973 and my dad started calling me "Little MS" as he figured that Mrs. V. was indoctrinating me in feminism. She might have been, but I sure don't remember any of it...I was helping her with her mommy duties and playing with her kids. I do remember really resenting my dad for calling me that...I HATED IT!!!

I blame my poor marriage choices to feminism...my first husband was a college grad who made a lot of money, but he always said that when I finished grad school, he was going to retire. He was probably kidding, but we divorced 6 months after I started grad school. Maybe if I wasn't so stuck on the idea that I too had to have a career, I wouldn't have gone to grad school and we would have stayed married and I could have been a stay at home mom. I doubt it...his mom had nine kids, was married to an engineer, and still worked as a nurse as soon as her kids hit junior high.

My second husband was an all-around loser, but he was a so called "Christian", which in my warped mind made him suitable for me. I felt that at my big salary of 25,000/year I could support us and anyone else who would come along. I lost that job, replaced it right away for less money, and lost that job almost immediately. I found a job with fluctuating hours that had to support us until we divorced when baby was two months old. All the time he was having his career of private investigator which meant he worked when he felt like it and called it his job.

Due to my poor marital choices, it was a good thing that I went to grad school and was able to support baby and me. However, I think my credentials clouded my mate selection. I am now happily married to a good man. He works hard and is steady and reliable. However, he was the son of a widow. His mom worked hard her whole life. He thinks that children of moms who work turn out fine. He sometimes forgets that his grandma took care of him all of those years.

My husband is brilliant but didn't go to college. He has stayed at the same job for 30 years. This position pays about as much as a librarian position, but then librarians don't make a lot of money. There is also not room for career growth...he has been a warehouse/sales/delievery guy for all of these years. If it weren't for the union, I think he might have sought better employment, but now he's two years short of retirement. I pray he finds a satisfying and lucrative second career, because I don't think it is right for me to leave my young kids home while I get back on the corporate ladder.

The trouble is, I am tangled up in the trappings of a two-income family with 1 1/2 incomes. I need to cut back and be satisfied with what my husband can provide so I can return home. I had to leave a vomiting baby and my 8 year-old home on a snow day to be a work this morning. That is so wrong. My husband was home with the kids, losing a day's wage because I made a work comittment I needed to keep.

Escaping the web of feminism is very hard...there is much more to it than one would think. First, I love to wear dresses, but I feel really weird cleaning the house in a dress or exercizing in a dress or ice skating in a "modest dress". Do you give up your favorite activities...can't you put leggings on to play in the snow with your kids??? Do you take care of your horses in a dress????? Do you have to ride side-saddle or not at all???? Where does practicallity come into all of this????

What about going to hockey games with your husband...I could wear a dress, but is enjoying hockey feminine or feminist??? Or cheering my Alma Mater, which was not even a private church college, but a major BIG TEN party school (although I didn't not party in the 'party-school' way.) What about my car...I love cars I love my car I even love driving my rear-wheel drive car in the snow...does that make me a feminist????

What about make up???? I love wearing make-up...I think it's girly...as long as my heart is a pretty as my face, I don't think it is un Christian either. Hair color...come on, I've had gray hair since I was twenty...I'm supposed to be attractive to my husband, aren't I? I love long hair, but mine breaks off so much, I need to keep it on the short side...with clips and sparklies to keep it girly. I don't even like to wear oxford shirts because they look so manly, but then a lot of what I think "feminizes" my clothes is sometimes considered immodest. I don't want to end up looking like a cliche. Do you have to look like the Amish??? I know a (anti-feminist) young woman who dresses very stylishly...she even wears red nail polish sometimes...

This is all getting me to look at my values again. I think I got a bit liberal since I married my husband. I need to get back to the BIBLE and the US CONSTITUTION for my compasses. Unfortunately, no where is it written, at least I don't think it is, that a lady can not drive a Ford Mustang...

John Lennon

2005-12-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

The saddest thing about John Lennon's untimely death was that had he lived, maybe he would have done something that I liked or admired.

Regardless, I have a clear memory of the death of John Lennon. My friend told me the next morning at 0-hour orchestra rehearsal. Her parents were English and her brother's name was Julian. Maybe that is why she was the first to share the news. I was in the 11th grade. I remember being so ashamed because my first reaction was to think that John died of a drug overdose. For graduation that spring, I gave my boyfriend a cross necklace and a copy of "Double Fantasy". I know why I gave him the cross, but for the life of me, I can't remember why I chose that album...maybe I felt sorry for Yoko and the kids...

I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with my comments. John did have an amazing impact on world culture and you must tip your hat to someone like that.

Whatever is True...

2005-11-22T15:50:00.000-05:00

I am always trying to live up to the fish on the back of my car. However, sometimes I get frustrated in traffic and can't help but think things that are unkind about fellow drivers.

This morning on my way to work, I had just exited from the expressway. I need to get over about three lanes in order to make my turn and I ordinarily do this with ease. However, this morning, I couldn't, as a woman was driving very focused only on her straight-ahead destination and wouldn't let me in. I literally had to stop to get behind her so I wouldn't miss my turn. While behind her, I noticed her license plate had a version of the word "Whatever". I thought to myself, "yeah, whatever works for me and forget about you!". Then, as she started to turn into the parking lot of the Catholic church, I caught a glimpse of her cross decal. I thought to myself ...well, I guess she was so focused on whatever is true, honest, just, pure,...she didn't have a chance to notice me.

Later, when I got to my e-mail still feeling somewhat ashamed for getting upset at her, I opened my daily devotion which was about serving God in all that you do, from cleaning toilets and changing diapers to "Graciously allowing a vehicle to merge in front of you."

While I still should have just taken the morning's incident in stride, I feel a little better knowing that I do personally try to do just that and see it as part of serving God.

Tiny Sapphire Cross

2005-11-20T16:43:00.000-05:00

I'm almost ashamed of the tiny little cross that I'm wearing today. As a Protestant, I celebrate the Resurrected Christ, so my crosses are empty as Christ has risen. However, the impact that woman's crucifix had on me today is nothing short of amazing.

The Golden Crucifix

2005-11-20T16:37:00.000-05:00

A young, tall, slim nursing student came into the library today. She was dressed in a orangy warm-up suit and white t-shirt. Her blond hair was pulled back in a bun. What intrigued me most about her ensemble was the large gold crucifix on a thick, long gold chain...yes, like a male rapper might wear.

On her,it made such a statement...to remind everyone that Jesus SUFFERED DEATH for us and in HIM there is hope. I don't know if she wears this everyday, but I hope that during her nursing career she is able to display this symbol of eternal truth for all to see, especially in spiritual and physical need.

I am a Michigander...

2005-11-20T16:03:00.000-05:00

Yes, I was born and raised in the Great Great Lakes State. I love my state.

To most Michiganians, yesterday was not a good day in the sporting world...well maybe for hunting or figure skating...

However, while my beloved Michigan State Spartans blew TWO big games and my usually reliable Detroit Red Wings hocky team lost, a couple of "my teams" celebrated victories:

First, Congratulations to The Ohio State University Buckeyes! Yeah! Saturday afternoon, we were dropping my daughters off at my parents to attend the aforementioned Red Wings game. We arrived in time for my husband to turn on the end of the OSU/UM game. My parents aren't sports people, but boy did their Ohio roots show by the end of THAT game! Even my quiet Mom said a little cheer. And to quote my dad, who has an MBA from the UM, "There will be a lot of sad intellectuals in Michigan this week!" (He was quite pleased at this, mind you!)

Even sweeter than this was to see the score of my little brother's Alma Mater come up on the screen: Vanderbilt 28-Tennessee 24!!! Yeah, Vandy!!!! Big little girl was really excited to call her Aunt and Uncle to congratulate them!

I was looking forward to hockey and basketball season, but if I'm relying on the Wings and Spartans, I might want to broaden my horizons...I hear Nashivlle's got a couple good teams... Vandy and the Predators (NHL)!

Go Bucks!

2005-11-17T15:26:00.000-05:00

It is that time of year again, when the University of Michigan/The Ohio State University rivalry comes to a head. I have heard it is one of the biggest rivalries in all of college sports.

In these parts (Michigan) it is assumed that if you live in Michigan and did not move here from Ohio, you cheer for the "UM". And, with a (Michigan State) Spartan Season like the one I just lived through, you would think that I would join the other Michigan natives and cheer on the Wolverines as they face the Buckeyes.

WRONG!!!!!

Here is my list of perfectly good reasons to cheer for The Ohio State University Buckeyes this coming Saturday:

#1 and Most Important: True Michigan State Spartan fans NEVER cheer for the University of Michigan Wolverines.

However, my scarlet and gray leanings run much deeper...

#2 My mom was born, raised, and educated in Ohio (Ashland [College]University)

#3 My dad was born, raised and mostly educated in Ohio. (Case Western Reserve [Case Institute of Technology] and University of Michigan)

Note: While my dad used to sing Victors (UM Fight Song) to me as a child, it didn't take. He was granted an MBA by the UM, but never was a Wolverine.

#4 My Paternal Grandfather attended The Ohio State University in 1929, but had to quit due to the Great Depression. He was a big football fan.

#5 My Paternal Grandmother~while she didn't attend The Ohio State Unviersity and wasn't a great sports fan, Grandma W. is really my true connection to The Ohio State University football program.

Here is the family legend:

Woody Hayes was once a football coach of the New Philadelphia High Quakers. This is the Alma Mater of my Grandma, Great Aunt Kate, and Great Uncle Bill. My Great Uncle Bill played Junior Varsity under Woody's coaching. Uncle Bill graduated in 1938 and the following fall, Woody became head coach.

From espn.go.com

"...He [Woody] remained there for two seasons before moving to New Philadelphia High School, also in Ohio, as an assistant coach there. While at New Philadelphia, he met Anne, the woman who would become his wife.

In 1938, Hayes was promoted to head coach at New Philadelphia. Three years later, he enlisted in the United States Navy, where he developed a passion for military history..."

Anne and my Great Aunt Kate were classmates and good friends. Such good friends that sometime back in the day, Woody and Anne, along with my Aunt Kate and Uncle Carl, had dinner at my Grandma and Grandpa's home.

Ever the Ohioan, my dad likes to point out that Bo Schembechler has strong Ohio roots too, include in Master's Degree from The Ohio State University. However, I think, in spite of his 40+ years in Michigan and UM degree, Dad is still inclined to silently root for The Ohio State University.

As for me, I am a graduate of Michigan State University. I NEVER cheer for U of M. However, I am confident that I meet the criteria to be a Buckeye fan on this one Saturday each fall.

Go Bucks!

Observations

2005-11-04T14:11:00.000-05:00

I really don't have the time or desire right now to write eloquent pieces of prose. However, I don't really want to quit writing out here in the blogosphere. I like being part of a community and hope that I might contribute in some small way. So, my writing will not be all that pretty, but it will be real, stream of consciousness writing. Just observations along the way. And sometimes, I might come up with something profound...

Ephesians

2005-10-13T18:12:00.000-04:00

I saw this on Norma's "Collecting My Thoughts" blog. When I read the desciption of an "Ephesians" person, I liked what it said. When I tried the quiz myself, I was tickled to find that I am "Ephesians" too. (I wonder what my husband is????)

You are Ephesians.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Summer Set

2005-08-25T17:55:00.000-04:00

Here I sit as summer winds to a close...Big girl started third grade yesterday...

This summer provided many opportunities for fun and growth. Since I haven't written much, I'll take this moment in time for a written review~

Baby Girl turned 2 on July 1st. She is a piece of sunshine, straight from the heart of God.

On July 4th, our little family participated in the parade through the streets of our small town. I was so happy that day and the pictures of all of us show it! We marched with our county's Republican Party and even my husband donned a "Proud Republican" hat. Both girls were "stars" of our group.

We were "in" the July 4th parade once before, in 2003, as we were brought our little gift of love home from the hospital through town at noon just as the parade began!

We skipped Vacation Bible School and I felt guilty all week...

We all went to a Michigan Hunter/Jumper Association show to watch a friend from church compete. It was a lot of fun, especially for my Big Girl. Baby Girl and I (almost) learned the hard way that you don't play "Ring Around the Rosey" around horses...especially the all falling down part!

The other Horsey adventure we had was attending the local 4H Fair. We visited all of the animal exhibits, ate expensive junky fair food, skipped the rides, and enjoyed the rodeo. We watched a little bull riding and barrel racing. However, Baby Girl was pretty wild by that time, so we roped her into the car and concluded our day at the fair a little early.

One Sunday, we had a visit to our church from Pastor Azar and his family. Pastor Azar is the pastor of the Lutheran Church of the Redeemer in Jerusalem. We learned a lot about what is happening in Palestine...much of which I didn't already know. The most interesting and encouraging thing I learned was that many Islamic families send their children to the Christian school run by his church. While it is against the law to evanglize..."they will know we are Christians by our love..." We also enjoyed a great middle eastern meal...ever since I quit my job in the city and moved to the country, I've really missed that cuisine. Unfortunately, I ended up becoming really annoyed at a guest from another congregation who made some nasty crack about Bush...why does it always come down to that????

The month of July closed with a visit to my mom's that included a birthday celebration for my dad (7/27) and husband (7/31) and a swim in "Oma" and "Opa's" pool. Big Girl is a fish and Baby Girl loves the water too.

Big Girl and I also painted the front, back, and garage doors along with the clothes line posts, a beautiful blue. Our home is starting to take shape. I planted some flowers, but still can't control the quack grass. We also need some perennials...

On August 14, I played the Bach "Arioso" on my cello at my church's traditional service. It was fun as I played with our organist who is my age and grew up in the same tradition I did. We both also enjoy praise and worship, but nothing beats Bach on a Sunday morning!

The girls and I had one last (probably) summer splash in Oma's pool last week. We had a lot of fun and Oma took pictures and video. (Ugh! at least I was under the water with the baby in my arms!) We were in the water a long time...Baby Girl even noticed the "Volkswagen symbols" on her fingers. (So named by my younger brother, the son of a car fanatic.)

Last Thursday included a mad dash to the county clerk's office for a copy of Baby Girl's birth certificate. As I was packing for our trip, I couldn't find her birth certificate with the other necessary documents. It finally occurred to me that I didn't have a copy yet. Luckily, having her at the county hospital in our small county made Baby Girl's birth certificate fairly easy to obtain...I drove into town with the girls in tow and gave the clerk $10.00 and minutes later, I had it in my hands. (This would not have been nearly so simple to obtain any one else in our family's birth certificates as they are housed in Detroit!!!)

Our first big summer adventure as a family began at 5:00 a.m. on August 19...Details to follow.

My Little Girls

2005-08-03T18:17:00.000-04:00

Growing up, I always thought I would have sons. I am SO glad I have my little girls.

My little little girl turned 2 on July 1st. One morning, she gave a concert from her crib in her room down the hall. I heard her sing song after song..."Twinkle, Twinkle, Precious in His Sight", "Rock a Bye Baby in the Window". and "Jesus Loves Me and the Power and the Glory". Yesterday, she walked into the living room pushing her doll in her pink stroller wearing nothing but cowboy boots and red sunglasses. This was after she conned me into lacing her into her sister's old figure skates and letting her walk around in them. (She's sure ready to skate--she has amazing balance.) Sometimes she marches around, (fully-dressed in her cowboy boots), saluting and singing, "I am an American, American". I couldn't be prouder!

My big little girl is 8 going on ...well, no, she still really needs and wants her mamma. She's so grown up, yet so vulnerable. Her life is pretty complicated, but I think we all have our cross to bear. I always must remember to ask God to help me help her carry her's. She's so wise and sweet for her age. She has a very strong faith in the Lord and goes to God all the time with her troubles. She even reminds me to pray when I get all twisted up in troubles. She started violin lessons and I hope she continues to enjoy it. I know it will enrich her life greatly. Just like her little sister, big little girl has her own dramatic flair...of course then, so does her mother, although more dramatic than flair, in my case.

My First Public Conservative Librarian Comments

2005-07-21T18:46:00.000-04:00

The following comes from my participation in a librarian's listserve on June 29, 2003. I had made brief comments hinting at my conservative leanings before, however, I think this was the first extensive writing I ever did. It was in response to comments made regarding a rumored comment Dr. Laura made about public libraries being evil and unsafe for children. I was responding to the listserv comments, not the original statement by Dr. Laura, as I didn't hear it myself and I'm not sure many of the listserv members did either.

Hi All,
I find the discussion about this "rumor" interesting. So, I guess I'll step up on my soap box once before my maternity leave begins. (Maybe I'm hormonally driven, forgive me if I offend.) ---baby born July 1, 2003---

First of all, I'm sure many of us have found ourselves in predicaments with unsupervised kids. We should not and cannot be responsible for supervising kids of any age. Many parents believe that is part of our job. Parents need to be aware, on the most basic level, libraries, like any other public places are not necessarily "safe places" to leave kids. Let's be honest, some of our visitors may be on questionable character and yes, that my include a child molester or terroist.

Regarding our collections, Personally, I believe parents should consider the content of the materials in the library. We preach the doctrine of anti-censorship as a profession and so we should. However, we are primarily in the business of information. Parents have a right and responsibility to raise their children accourding to their value system. We should help support that freedom. If a patron asks me to recommend a "clean" book for a child, I suggest they read they read the title, as I am not qualified to make a personal parental judgement for someone else. That too is suggesting a form of parental supervision.

Regarding internet use in libraries: Sure, most of it is pretty innocent. However, parents need to be aware that filters are an imperfect tool. We have filters at my library and I can't tell you how many nights while shutting down our computers I've had to close up pornographic sights that have slipped through the filters.

I guess I am tired of hearing people in my profession of 14 years make negative statements about groups, particularly religious, who inform parents about the content of some of the materials in our facilities. Why is it so wrong to recommend to concerned parents that they need to pay attention to their children's use of the library?

Okay, I admit, I'm conservative and Christian, but I'm not a big Dr. Laura fan. I do think, however, that we as a profession need to let conservative groups know that we can help support their information needs as well as the liberal groups. We are not an evil place!

Sincerely,

Susan
38 weeks pregnant and it is 90 outside!

I was thrilled that some people actually appreciated my comments. In fact, the tone of the discussion took on a more positive timbre after I posted.

More Library Politics

2005-07-21T17:58:00.000-04:00

A while back, I was part of a library listserv. I was reading some of the archived material from when I belonged and I was really bothered by a response to a suggestion I made. Fortunately, I was on maternity leave when it was originally posted and didn't see it until today.

Someone wrote in about the funding being reduced in her library and was looking for suggestions. I put in the following $.02:

Several years ago, I was in a similar situation. One of our solutions was to eliminate the cleaning company. All five of us, MLS carrying librarians and one clerk helped clean the library in the hour before the library opened each day. We also agreed to work one hour less each week. This saved one full-time librarian her job (me) and we all kept our benefits. We also all worked circulation, reference, collection development, etc. Fortunately, we only had to do this for one year as a milleage campaign began as a result and was successful.A

As I read the responses, I see a hint of liberal bias. One said that she would collect unemployment before cleaning, as it undermined the profession (read: elitest liberal). Well, I needed professional experience and library jobs weren't a dime a dozen. I also was the sole provider of income and health insurance in my household. I had already lost two jobs just prior to the one I had. I was new in the field and I had kind colleagues willing to work together to get through the rough spots. The community also appreciated all that we did for them and supported us fiscally ever after. They have a beautiful library and much larger staff today, 14 years later.

Another comment was made as to why I felt that it was more acceptable to fire the cleaning people than a librarian. She said that it just shifted the "economic burden" to someone with less opportunities for employment than ourselves (no compassion for the professional). I don't know, but I think it is much easier to find jobs cleaning than librarian jobs. Plus, it was a cleaning company with plenty of clients. Our library was just a drop in the bucket for them and I think the cleaning people made more per hour...We also contracted them to clean again the next year when the money was restored. I'm sorry, but it is capitalism... free enterprize...

Of course, someone agreed whole heartedly with the original comments on my suggestion...and she was a union steward. I have been in no union, good unions, and bad unions. My dad was opposed to unions and my husband has been in a union his entire life. I pretty much am neutral on the union issue. However, I know in that case, if we had been in a union...I would have been out on my butt...

I'm sure not everyone will agree with my assessment of the situation, but it meant a great deal to me to be able to keep my job due to the goodwill of my colleagues. It also gave me a better appreciation of those who work so very hard to clean and maintain our libraries.

Hobby Havoc

2005-07-16T09:56:00.000-04:00

Maybe havoc is too strong of a word, but I like alliteration. Anyway, my hobbies are starting to create havoc on my poor fingers. I used to have incredible callouses on my left hand fingers and thumb from the cello. Well, they're gone and now I have a blister on my pinky from playing again. On my right hand, I literally have a hole in my index finger from knitting with really small, pokey needles. I was going to do some hand-sewing, but I'm afraid of more injuries!

The good news for today is that I'm going to buy some blue paint to do the trim on our house. I have anticipated this day for a long time. I moved in to a pumpkin and burnt red colored house in 2002. Last year we painted it more of a buff color and now I get to finish the transformation. I have been using naptime to sort drawers and catch up on knitting, etc. Now I will paint, paint, paint. My big girl will be home, so maybe she won't mind keeping me company. There isn't a lot of trim, with the exception of the garage door, which maybe my husband will do. He usually does all of the painting. I painted an old jewelry armoir and now I think he trusts me with walls, etc. This will also give my hands a rest from the repetitive strain of knitting.

Rock Star Husband

2005-07-15T14:14:00.000-04:00

I was reviewing some of Ayekah'sa posts and comments. (Okay, I admit, her pictures of Bono caught my eye too). Vox Lauria suggested people might think her husband, dashing in dark glasses, might be a rock star like Bono. Anything is possible...customs agents in an airport in Panama, circa 1990 thought my husband was.

My husband was going on his first mission trip to work with the Cuna (Kuna) Indians of the San Blas Islands off the coast of Panama. He was going with a singles group from his church. The group was in line at the airport in Panama awaiting to pass through customs. After waiting in the line with his long, feathery hair; goalie bag full of work clothes; and his guitar, my husband was singled out of line. He was addressed merely as "Guitaro". He thought he was in trouble, so he did as he was asked. Several customs agents looked carefully at my husband's passport, shook his hand, smiled excitedly, and let him pass through without any further inspection. Although, no one in the church group knew enough Spanish to confirm the fact, several people with my husband were sure that the customs agents believed that he was a famous Americano rock star travelling with his guitaro...

Renaissance Woman Revolts

2005-07-14T18:58:00.000-04:00

You will undoubtedly note that my postings today are of the eclectic kind. Yes, I am a very a scattered, I mean I am a Renaissance Woman. Of course I don't do anything that well. One day, I will blow up due to my personal interest overload....

I have been reading books again. I know, a librarian that doesn't devour books??? No, but I have an extensive library of journals in the bathroom. I do read books, particularly the Good Book. I try to read a little of it everyday, plus a short Bible study. I also read when I use our elliptical. It is sometimes the only motivation I have to use the thing. While logging miles, I finished "What I Wish My Christian Friends Knew About Judaism" by Robert Schoen. It was a quick, easy lesson in Judaism, much of it I already knew somehow. I thought it might be useful as my sister-in-law is Jewish by birth and has recently begun practice the faith. (It is a good thing that my brother belongs to the same Lutheran synod-ELCA I do, as they are more welcoming to couples "unevenly yoked" than some churches are.)

I have been doing much more reading as I am doing a lot of simple knitting. I LOVE to knit and read at the same time. My concentration on both tasks improves...must be something about the rhythm. Last week I read "Bloodsworth" by Tim Junkin and today I finished, "A Church at War" by Stephen Bates. (I've been just picking books from the new book shelf where I work, so they're all kind of liberally slanted...which keeps me thinking.

So, what am I knitting? First I am knitting a bedspread for our guestroom. Currently, I am knitting as many twelve in squares I can out of Lion's Brand, "Homespun" in the Tudor color. I'm not a big fan of it, it tends to get weird as you work with it. I bought a bunch of the stuff on a whim last winter, so I'll knit it until it is gone. These squares are knitted in seed stitch and then trimed with two rows of chain stitched crochet in a dark plumb color. Next I will knit some squares using different patterns with a blue or plumb color worsted weight yarn. Finally, I plan to piece them all together and crochet a trim around the edge. It will probably be more "shabby" than "chic", but I think that is my style!

I am also working on a sweater for my big girl, who is 8. She is a fan of my alma mater, Michigan State University, so I'm knitting her a green and white "Spartan" pullover. I was anxious to get that finished so I could start a fall sweater for myself, but I just got an invitation to a baby shower. It is for my husband's cousin's stepdaughter's baby. This is the Detroit Red Wings side of the family, so I have to knit the baby my "infamous" Detroit Red Wings 'Original Six' hockey sweater. Now that there will be a NHL season, I have to hurry up and knit...there is a lady who knits at all of the Red Wings games, but I don't think my hocky hunk husband would appreciate me multitasking at the "Joe" watching the Wings. I knitted two Red Wings sweaters last year and they were both hits. At least one of them was for my baby to wear. (That's what I did during the NHL lockout!) I think the green and white "Spartan" sweater on my big girl and the Red and White "Detroit" sweater on my little girl will make for great Christmas portraits. Plus, as I said, at least these are fairly simple to knit and I can read while I work on them.

I also have some quilting projects brewing. My husband purchased several Molas from Panama's Kuna Indians on a mission trip and I'd like to create a wall hanging out of them. I also need to get started on my little girl's big bed quilt. Of course, I still have a little time...but the time from crib to bed will fly, I know.

Then, I still have some Christmas cross-stitch to finish from last year along with a sampler I started in the fall. I usually finish things before I move onto to other things, but I just feel like knitting right now. I usually do finish all of the projects I start, though. That's why I think I get more satisfaction out of needleworking than music. Music is never finished...

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Controversy

2005-07-14T17:43:00.000-04:00

This is my controversy. I strongly believe in traditional values espoused in the Holy Bible. Alas, as the sinner I am, I haven't always lived the way I wish I would. I've made mistakes. Mistakes that upset my beloved and most forgiving Father in Heaven. I was married for a year. We divorced. I don't even really know why, except that I didn't know how to be a wife and he didn't know how to be a husband. It was probably for the best because he was not a practicing Christian. However, I was so ashamed of being divorced, I remarried soon after to someone I should have never even dated. (What was I thinking, two wrongs make a right????) We barely survived 7 years. I was only practicing my faith on the surface and put a lot of hope in forgiveness. We divorced when our baby was 2 months old.

I prayed and hoped and believed that one day I would become the wife and mother I felt God wanted me to be. But, as my Christian faith grew stronger, I was convicted by the Biblical teachings on women and divorce and adultery and remaining single or reconcilliation. I was very conflicted. What about being a new creation in Christ and the old being gone and the new coming? I surrendered my dreams to God. If He really wanted me to be a wife again, it would be clear.

On February 20, 2002, I became a wife for the last time.

I am an adultress...I am unfaithful to the man I first married. The marriage was annulled by the Roman Catholic Church, but what does that really mean? We were married by a Lutheran pastor and a Catholic priest in a Lutheran Church. How can one say that nothing ever happened that did?

I am also unfaithful to my second husband...

It is Biblically incorrect to be married to my (third) husband since I have been divorced. But, my benevolent Father in Heaven continues to bless my marriage and my family. Praise Him for His Faithfulness evidenced in forgiveness and love.

I just finished reading Stephen Bates' "A Church at War: The Anglicans and Homosexuality". It was very liberally biased, but it made me put the stone I wanted to cast, aside. Jesus forgives our sins, but He also tells us to go and sin no more...He forgives the homosexual and the adultress, each sin being equal, equal also to the liar, petty thief and murderer. Then Christ commands, "go and sin no more". The liar stops lying, the thief stops thieving, the murderer ceases to kill. The adultress remains faithful to her husband ...she continues to sin; the gay man remains true to his partner...they continue in sin. The quandry is that these sinners, are also true witnesses for the Gospel of the Lord, they spread the love of God and His Good News to all they know. The are steadfast in their service to God. The adultress the same as the homosexual. The adultress can hide behind convention, but her heart which is very close to God knows all of the truth. She, a sinner, as we all are, is no different than the gay man or lesbian woman. The adultress should have remained celebate, just as the homosexual. However, in a committed relationship serving God, she blesses many more by her Grace from God.

I am a member of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Sometimes I think that it is too liberal for my conservative leanings. However, I re-read some of the statments on sexuality and I think they are good and sound. I know people won't agree with them. I personally like black and white without gray areas. If I had my life to live over, I would stay on the straight and narrow and encourage everyone to do the same. However, my life experience has led me to this place where I must be able to at least consider things in this gray light.

Of course I will instruct my children that there are traditional values that should be respected and honored. I don't think it is from a double standard that I wish this for them. I have made my life hard by my own selfish choices and if it weren't for that fact that in Christ I am a new creation and the old is gone, I would be filled with remorse and regret. I pray hard that my daughters will live true Godly lives as they learn from our mistakes.

G Major

2005-07-14T17:10:00.000-04:00

I've started to play my cello again. The past three years have been pretty hectic, filled with other priorities and the cello gets pushed out of the way. Last year, I bought a wonderful new bow with money I inherited from my grandma. I hoped that would "fire me up". It did for a while, but I got distracted again. I get over zealous about playing and then I can't keep up with my expectations...sure I can practice 3 hours a day with a toddler and elementary schooler, a big, messy house and husband, and an almost full-time job.

Well, this time, I'm playing for Him. God gave me this gift and I have to share it, if only with just me and Him and the walls. I also play for them, the little ones. When I was pregnant with baby number 1, I played in a community orchestra. Whenever I would want to quit, I would think, "but this is so good for this unborn baby's development". I didn't play so much before baby number 2's birth, so I'm trying to make up for it now. I purposely try to practice when she's awake. Ha, ha. Some days it works, and other days it doesn't.

I am only playing in G Major right now. Instead of trying to refresh my finger's memory of all of the scales at once, I'm just going to focus on one until it is ingrained in my hand more than it ever was before. I play it Largo, Allegro, slurred (multiple notes to one bow, while sober), and single strokes of the bow. I take it apart and work on just a few runs of notes at a time...sometimes because I'm interupted by baby trying to help. I even play it pizzacato since baby is used to helping her daddy strum his guitar. Occassionally, I stop to play "Twinkle" with baby for a sing-along. She always dances as does my big girl. I can't wait until big girl comes home and they dance together.

I have been playing once in a while at church...just along with hymns at the traditional service and Praise and Worship songs at the contemporary service. I decided, or rather I think God is nudging me to play a little more. I found a copy of Bach's "Arioso" arranged for cello and piano in my drawer of old favorites and both parts were still together. This piece will be a perfect start. It is not all that technically difficult, but it is meditative and beautiful. It is also in the key of G Major. It will be nice to work on something to play with another person. Our church's music director can handle anything, I think. She is a real organist and pianist and can do keyboards in the praise band as well. I think we will have fun playing together too.

Since I'm focusing on playing in G Major, I decided to start playing the Bach Cello Suite No. 1, in, you guessed it, G. It is the one played all the time in commercials. Usually, it is the background for something really classy, but most recently, I think it was played to sell dog food. I was messing around, warming up at church last spring and a high school student who played cello said, "wow, I didn't know anyone that could really play that piece". I can't say that I play it that well, but I am blessed to have an opportunity to try as it is one of the most beautiful pieces composed for cello...so beautiful that guitarists, trombonists, violists, bassists, etc. have their own arrangements of it...but Bach wrote it for me!

Reviews

2005-07-08T11:16:00.000-04:00

I'm getting very agitated as I read book reviews in Choice, a jounal of book reviews for academic libraries.

The first one that got me started was a for "Highly Recommended" book called "Command of office: how war, secrecy, and deception transformed the presidency from Theodore Roosevelt to George W. Bush". The title annoyed me because there seems to be a lot of books with Bush and deception in the title. However, as it is "highly recommended", I continued on with the review. The reviewer notes several chapter titles: the "Savior" for FDR--I certainly don't think of Franklin Roosevelt as "savior" in any context. All of his government "busywork"...the "Creator" for Truman...what did he create??? I don't know all that much about Truman, but he was a democrat. Finally, the "Actor" for Reagan. Yes, Reagan was actually an actor. But he was not acting...he was truly a great American and history has proven that to be true. The reviewer say the author is opinionated...oh really?...and yet the reviewer "highly recommends" this book. I don't know about you, but if a he were doing the same for a pro-conservative book, I would question the validity of the review and book as well!!!

The next review, for Zinn's "Voices of a people's history of the United States", got me typing. It begins with the words "At a time of right-wing ascendancy in the US, this documentary collection of progressive political viewpoints is a reminder that resistance to the established power of privelege has never died." and concludes with "Summing Up: Essential. All levels/libraries. Right-wing ascendancy can only happen if the "people" vote for it!!!

Well, professionally I try to be "fair and balanced", but it is so hard...

Shameful Librarians

2005-07-08T09:27:00.000-04:00

In order to maintain my health and sanity, I avoid the ALA (American Library Association). Just reading the book reviews makes me crazy! I get my ALA information filtered by Greg McClay at http://www.shush.ws. Greg, in his quest to be ALA Councilor-At-Large, states that it is a "sad time to be a librarian". That is so true. We need to support Greg in his quest. I'm praying for direction as to whether or not I should shell out the money for an ALA membership so I can vote for him. I hope others like Greg come forward. Not necessarily politically conservative folks, but folks who really care about libraries and for what they stand!!!!

Librarians represent one of democracy's greatest gifts and librarians need to stand up for freedom! That is one of many reasons why this resolution is so shameful!

Resolution on the Connection between the Iraq War and Libraries

Whereas, the justifications for the invasion of Iraq have proven to be completely unfounded; and

Whereas, the war already has taken the lives of more than 100,000 Iraqis and more than 1700 U.S. soldiers; and

Whereas, these numbers will continue to mount as long as the U.S. remains in Iraq; and

Whereas, during the current occupation, many of Iraq's cultural treasures, including libraries, archives, manuscripts, and artifacts, have been destroyed, lost, or stolen; and

Whereas, as long as U.S. forces remain in Iraq, the inevitable escalation of fighting threatens further destruction of Iraq's cultural heritage; and

Whereas, the U.S. is spending billions of dollars every month for the occupation; and Whereas, even a small fraction of these resources would be more than sufficient for rebuilding and greatly enhancing the libraries and educational institutions of both Iraq and the US; therefore, be it

Resolved that the American Library Association calls for the withdrawal from Iraq of all U.S. military forces, and the return of full sovereignty to the people of Iraq.

Resolved that the American Library Association urges the United States government to subsequently shift its budgetary priorities from the occupation of Iraq to improved support for vital domestic programs, including U.S. libraries.

Resolved that the American Library Association calls upon the United States government to provide material assistance through the United Nations for the reconstruction of Iraq, including its museums, libraries, schools, and other cultural resources.

Resolved that this resolution be sent to all members of Congress, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of State, the President of the United States, and the press.

Related ALA policies:
18.4 Resolution on Libraries and Cultural Resources in Iraq (June 25, 2003)
53.7 Destruction of Libraries
53.8 Libraries: an American Value
Additional precedent: ALA Resolution on the Southeast Asia Conflict (1971)
Mover: Tom Twiss; Seconder: Mary Sue Brown
Approved by ALA Council, June 29, 2005

Beautiful Blue-eyed Blonde

2005-07-07T19:07:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I took my 2-year-old to have her portrait taken. She was a pistol needless to say. My little girl, who is friendly to everyone, became super clingy as soon as it was her turn to shine and by the time it was time to go, she was ready to ham it up for the camera. In spite of it all, I dropped some pretty copper pennies on my golden girl!

I love both of my daughters like I never imagined. However, when the baby came along 6 years after her beloved sister, I wasn't sure how I could love both of them enough. I soon learned a mother's live is like God's love...it can't be quantified. My big girl is with her dad for the next two weeks, so I am enjoying baby by her little self, much like I enjoyed her big sis when she was the only one.

Last night, E. danced and twirled and ran all over the house giggling like crazy. It put a thrill in my heart. She would get all excited when she would see her daddy on the lawn tractor and try to get his attention. It was so simple, yet so incredibly wonderful. I also love to watch her dad react to her little smiles, hugs, and kisses. My husband really loves kids, but I'm pretty sure that by the time he was 45 and we married, he figured he wouldn't have any of his very own. I also know in my heart of hearts, neither of us would change it for the world! God is so Faithful!!!

Is there such thing as a conservative librarian?

2005-07-01T14:44:00.000-04:00

One day last fall, I was working solo at the reference desk in a very small academic library. It was very slow and I was reading book reviews in CHOICE. I was getting pretty disgusted by the liberal slant to everything. This slant was nothing new to this 15 year veteran librarian. However, I was fairly new to academia and the bias manifests itself differently in the variety of library environs in which I have worked. I finally took a breather, made my way to Google and typed "conservative librarians". The first thing on my hit list was "SHUSH for the Conservative Librarian" and I knew I wasn't alone.

When I discovered that I was called to be a librarian, I only knew one person in the profession. She was a devout Catholic and played the viola in our string quartet. My impression of the vocation was that it was very noble and patriotic and good. It was like motherhood and apple pie. I obviously had no clue.

When I started library school in January of 1988, I really didn't pay much attention to politics. I was Republican by birth, but didn't realy know why. In my classes, however, I started to notice that the professors would complain about the Reagan Administration and yet tell the students that we needed to be apolitical in our profession.

In the fall of 1988, I discovered politics. George H.W. Bush was running against Dukakis. Through the guidance of my dad and a column by George F. Will, I was now able to articulate why I was a conservative. Because I was still immersed in my studies and becomming a children's librarian, I still didn't really think about the liberal nature of the profession. I didn't yet realize that caring about the poor or the environment or free speech were liberal concepts. I was a Christian and believed in the Constitution. I thought that a lot of those freedoms were already guaranteed in that perfect document.

I had a couple of short term positions before I took a position as a Young Adult librarian in a small, under-funded library in an affluent, politically conservative community. Because of the make up of the community, I didn't directly have much trouble with my values conflicting with the demands of the job. Ironically, a man complained that a popular set of encyclopedias were anti-Christian. With all of my deeply rooted Christian and conservative values, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he felt that way. The set remained on the shelf and I can't imagine a public library without it.

I didn't really need to buy a copy of every crummy, titilating teen book published. Budget constraints were on my side and I tried to buy titles that would endure. If a teen book with sexual themes for example, received an excellent review regarding its' literary merits, I probably bought a copy. I tried ignore my personal bias and represent the best literature. Sometimes however, I would buy a book based on a review or recommendation and be absolutely appalled when the book would arrive. I always advised parents that they need to be aware of what their children are reading because I can't read everything.

The staff at that library was probably more liberal, but not in an adversarial way. One of the librarians was a strict vegan. I sometimes felt ashamed when I would wear my black leather jacket with the fringe on it and he reminded me that it is better to wear it than to let the animal die in vain. The worst thing was that I lost a lot of respect for a dear friend and colleague when she thought that Hillary Clinton deserved the honor of woman of the year. During that era, I just couldn't believe even the democrats liked her and her husband.

In the winter of 1996, I took the big jump, the huge leap of faith. Little "Miss Suburb" took a position at the main branch of a large urban library. I joined the department responsible for community information and referral. As my new boss described the position, "helping people get welfare and other handouts. In order to live with my conservative self, I thought of it as helping people help themselves. I spent most of my time calling human service agencies to find out what services they offer, entering descriptions into a database and indexing the services. This database was used by librarians who manned the information and referral desk and other I&R providers in the community. However, every Christmas, even the most liberal of the liberal librarians became pretty jaded. Every fall, we compiled a listing of all of the agencies that provided Christmas Baskets and gifts for those in need. At first, the novice on the referral desk feels so good helping those less fortunate find gifts for their children. However, by the next year, those same people call in October, because they had waited too long the year before...they've learned to work the system and they are not ashamed. I always wished I could give them the number for free job training instead, but they weren't interested in that program, just the free food and toys.

I became more and more conservative during this time period as I learned how the liberal mind worked and how it enslaved the poor in the "system". I know it sounds cliche, but I was much more interested in giving folks a hand up and not a hand out.
Working at the information and referral desk, did help me to discover a couple of like-minded individuals. Ironically, it was from working at the I&R desk and talking to me that my really good friend renewed her Catholic faith and converted to conservatism. At the time of the 2000 campaign, we formed a group called, "Librarians for Laura". While there were only four of us, we stuck together.

Speaking of the 2000 Election season, oh what fun it was in the big city. My library was located across the street from a major university where Al Gore came to speak. Boy was I glad I didn't have to work that Saturday!

After the conventions I got very brave and drove to work everyday with my Bush/Cheney sticker on my car. I just figured that God would protect me and he did. Most of the people at work knew my politics and didn't totally give me a hard time. I actually tried to "witness" to some of my apolitical African-American friends because I was so inspired by J.C.Watts and Condi Rice (got her autograph!)

One day there was a union rally on the lawn of the library to get out the vote (read: vote for Algore). I proudly went to the rally sporting my Bush/Cheney pin next to my UAW pin. (Yes, I was a member of the United Auto Workers Union...I bet you didn't know they represent librarians!) My ex-husband came to visit me at lunchtime to talk about our daughter and he drove a pickup with Bush stickers on it. When we returned to his truck, it was filled with trash...nice folks, those liberals (oh, I mean "working families")!

While, I took off the day after the election, it was really hard to be at work the next few weeks. I remember sitting at my desk (in our office, not in public) as my colleagues followed the recounts on the internet with glee! I was so thankful when they finally certified the election on my birthday, November 26.

Shortly after 9/11 I met my husband who swept me away from the city to the country. I told him I would marry him when and if I could get a position as a children's librarian near his home. I wanted to go back to my original library career goal of being a children's librarian. I had been looking for so long to find that kind of position, I thought it would never happen. Surprise, surprise, three months after we met, we married and I started my new position as a children's librarian.

The personnel policies left much to be desired, but the atmosphere was great. Most of my co-workers held the same values I did, as did the patrons. While it was located in a small suburb nestled between city and farmland, the community was naturally diverse. People from all ethnicities, economies, and education used the library.

The biggest on-site "political" issue was the collection development done by people who did not work in our community. Several people in the county system were assigned to do supplemental collection development for all of the member libraries. I hated to think about defending a book in a challenge that I elected not to buy for the collection. I would thoughtfully consider titles, especially for YA, and decide that if someone wanted it, they could easily interloan it. Knowing my community, conservative as it was, some titles would not be in such high demand. (The high demand adult titles included Ann Coulter's "Slander" and "Treason", along with Sean Hannity's "Let Freedom Ring" and "Deliver Us from Evil".) If the demand rose, then I'd reconsider. Well, sure enough, the crummy titles would appear on my shelves anyway! (And, they'd sit there, too!)

The other "conservative" issue was part of the same collection development problem. The guy at the mall branch was buying books for us in the suburb/country. He bought a lot of graphic novels. Well, graphic novels can be fine. However, this guy bought the most "graphic" of the graphic novels. And, of course, they would be shelved with the cartoon books that all of the kids on class visits want to look at. I emphasize parental responsibility regarding reading choices for children. However, what parent, giving permission to their child to visit the library with their class, thinks about the fact that novels graphically depicting sex acts are shelved right next to "Garfield the Cat"? Sure, lots of novels depict sex, but we don't shelve them in the kid's section!!!! We begged to at least have the cataloging changed to Adult Fiction and add a "Graphic Novel" sticker to the spine, but no deal. (Well, at least the Graphic Novel sticker stuck!)

I also got into a great listserv debate right before baby #2 arrived. It was on a young adult/children's listserv for public libraries. I've been trying to find it to post it here, but can't seem to get my hands on it. What was heartening, was that a few good librarians agreed with me. However, probably due to the fact I was 9+ months pregnant at the time, I can't even remember the topic!

I have been at my current position for a little over a year. It is in a "right to try" college library. The students are all ages, all walks, all situations. The traditional just-out-of-high-school Freshman is an exception rather than the norm. I'm becoming proud of the fact we're here to help those who are "not college material" have a chance to succeed, but at times it is very difficult. I also like the fact it is a private school and the president is a Presbyterian lay minister.

Early on, one of my colleagues informed me of the political tendancies of the library staff. Most were very liberal, however, she had a more conservative bend. I try not to get into politics at this job, but I told her mine. My boss's politics are unknown, except that she is a practicing Catholic and sang for the Pope in 1988.

Ironically, the person I replaced was conservative and we both buy books for political science. I also buy history, geography, law, and music. I do try very hard to not reflect my biases in my purchases...fair and BALANCED. However, that is tricky when review sources include "Choice" and "Library Journal". I do have other "underground" resources to make sure I'm getting the best of the conservative side..."The Weekly Standard" has a great section of book reviews.

My most memorable questions were about Michael Moore. Because of our location, we got a whole lot of Michael Moore questions last summer and fall. (He did not really grow up in a blue collar community, but rather an up and coming farm community cum affluent suburb!)

This pretty much sums up my career thus far from a political perspective. I'm sure as time goes on, I'll experience and remember other conservative librarian turning points, but this is it for now.

From the Mission Field

2005-06-29T13:16:00.000-04:00

Sunday, after the early church service, my husband drove 12 teens and another adult leader to West Virginia for a "Youthworks" mission trip. After I missed two of his call, I finally talked to him this morning. He's having a great time. His previous mission work has always involved construction of some sort. This time, however, he's doing something different. He's driving kids to VBS and the work crew to their worksite. In the afternoons, he's leading music and helping out with VBS. He says he loves it. Of course, he's in an air conditioned van and church instead of out in the hot, hot sun!

God always puts us where He wants us. Last Fall, I talked my husband into helping out with the kid's program on Wednesday nights so he could spend more time with his step-daughter (mine). He never worked with kids like that before and really just wanted to play guitar for them. However, by June, he was really into it. So, God used him again to work with kids!

Personally, I'm hoping my husband will conserve his construction energy so he can get to work on our house when he comes home!!!

I know God is at work in my dear husband's life even thought I really protested his going at first!

Our New Toy

2005-06-24T21:17:00.000-04:00

Here I sit in the driver seat of our new toy. My (and my husband's) first brand spanking new computer. Since I set it up, I got to pick out the wallpaper. I think I was pretty clever. Before my husband came along, my wallpaper was political or automotive. My husband chose a photo of his best beloved Detroit Red Wings. So, on our new computer, I posted a picture of the Detroit Red Wings presenting a hockey jersey to President George W. Bush at the White House after they won the Stanley Cup in 2002. I think it is a good compromise...I hope beloved husband agrees!

Wonderful Days

2005-06-23T12:31:00.000-04:00

Last week was been filled with just simply wonderful days. Nothing exciting or eventful. It is just that I have found such pleasantness in the simplicity of everyday. It has been so long since I've found balance and it is here...

I started this post last week so here it is...

Monday and Wednesdays are my days off. My eight year old is with her dad this week, so the (almost) two-year old and I spent the day together. Both days started with my "Bible in a Year" reading and my "First Place" Bible study for the day. My husband went to work and I studied in bed and prayed before I got up. (If I would get up, baby might find out and want to join in!)

On Monday, I did a ton of cleaning before the little one woke up. (It helps to get up early!) After breakfast on both days, we took a bike ride down a long country road near our house and then she "helped" me with the yard work. This is the first time I've done anything related to the yard since I was a kid. I've got a lot to do, but I'm enjoying the excuse to be out in the sun. (With lots of sunscreen.)

Lunchtime is around 11:30 or whenever I'm tired of chasing baby. After that, naptime!!!! The little one is so good about it as it has become so routine for us when I'm home. I put her down with a little cello music on the cd player and went outside and finished up the project started earlier. Yesterday, I still had some downtime and decided to start "Just As I Am", which is Billy Graham's autobiography. I'm knitting something really easy, so I could knit and read at the same time, which I love to do.

Baby woke up in a great mood, so we went to the fabric store to get some fabric for a couple projects and then ate dinner. My husband had a mission trip meeting, so didn't get home until 10.

After dinner, I tried to play my cello for "E", but her dad lets her play his guitar with him, so she wanted to play my cello too. It doesn't work so well, but she did get a kick out of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. After that E played and I ironed some clothes until it was her bedtime. We cuddled, sang, and prayed and she drifted off to sleep at around 8:30. I picked up my needles and knitted some more and watched a little t.v. until my husband came home. He was talking a mile a minute. He is so excited and it is rubbing off on me even though at first, I resented him going.

Tuesday, I went to work early so I could take a Pilates class at 11:00. The college offers these classes free to students and staff, so why not take advantage? It was great and the workday went by fast. It is quarter break, so not a lot of students. I have plenty of time to work on my archiving project.

Wednesday was another blissful day off. Most of my work was caught up for the first time in ages. The yard needs lots of work, so I did some of it, but read and relaxed during naptime. I also had some things to do for my husband's upcoming trip.

Thursday, I worked, had Pilates, worked some more...book ordering, mostly...world history. At 1:00 I got off early so my husband and I could have a "date" before his trip. I took the baby to a friends and met my husband at home at 4:30. We drove up to Frankenmuth for a big chicken dinner. After, we were stuffed, but I talked him into walking around some shops...he hates this usually, but humored me this time. He even bought me a horse statue sculpted out of leather...all his idea! It was a good time. We picked up baby at 8:30 and talked to our friends a while.

Friday, worked 1/2 day again and went home to wait for new computer. I got it all set up in time for baby and daddy to come home. We went out for dinner again! Too much food, but a nice change of scene. Maybe my dearest one is going to miss me.

My Other Favorite Dad

2005-06-21T14:55:00.000-04:00

My husband became a Dad at the ripe age of (almost)47. He never knew what he was missing until our blue-eyed blond girl with curls came along two Julys ago. However, before me and the baby, my dear husband spent his time playing hockey; attending church and Detroit Red Wings games; and going on mission trips.

He has made several mission trips Panama, Dominican Republic, and Costa Rica. He also drove down to Tennessee for local mission work. He uses his God-given talents for plumbing and construction (and guitar-playing) to bless new Christians building churches in impoverished areas. Bless his heart.

My husband took a sabatical from mission work to marry me, get to know my eldest daughter, and complete(?) our family. On Sunday, he is returning to the mission field, this time in Delbarton, West Virginia. He will be taking 12 teens from our church down to do some work projects. Selfishly, I really didn't want him to go, but now as it comes closer and I've prayed hard, I am so proud that he has a calling and is following it. I just ask God to take care of the gang from Calvary Lutheran as they travel and serve Jesus Christ!

My Dad

2005-06-21T14:23:00.000-04:00

Father's Day in our family usually includes my Dad doing what he does best...talking about cars and trucks. He was an automotive engineer for over 30 years and has been automotive historian forever. Here is a guy who found his passion early (birth?) and turned it into something fun and sometimes lucrative. He has written several books on the subject along with many articles. His first book about Ford Trucks was in print for 20 years. Now, as a librarian, I know that is rare!!! He drove my mom nuts and sometimes the kids too, but we certainly appreciate his legacy!

Each year for the "past many", Greenfield Village in Dearborn, Michigan hosts a "Motor Muster". Vehicles of all types and their families make their way to this historical village built by Henry Ford to revel in their history. My Dad, along with other automotive historians, give spectators narratives regrading the history and features of each car as they "pass in review". These guys really know their stuff. My dad does most of it off of the top of his head with every detail anyone would ever want to know. Plus, he has a great love of the automobile which is evident in his delivery of the information.

Usually, the family tries to all meet at the Motor Muster to ooh over the cars and to support my Dad and cheer him on. This year, my Dad was the only one of the family there. I don't know if he really cares that we're absent, as he knows we're all busy. However, it sure doesn't feel like Father's Day when I don't go. As I sit on the bleachers as the cars roll by in my own hometown, I am reminded again and again how much I love my dad and how proud I am to be his only daughter.

Note to my conservative readers: In the "About the Author" section of one of his books, but Dad even states that politically he is "right of center". His political convictions run just about as deep as gasoline runs in his veins!

Jacko

2005-06-16T16:32:00.000-04:00

Not Guilty Does Not Mean Innocent!!!!!

Terri Revisited

2005-06-16T16:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, so the autopsy says what it says. I still think that since Terri's husband broke his convenant to her by starting a new family with another woman. Therefore, was not the person to make such a decision in place of Terri.

Taking Care of the Temple

2005-06-10T18:55:00.000-04:00

As of today, I think I've had all of the physical check-ups required of a woman my age. I started at the dentist in April and ended with a physical today. I have test results pending, or course, but to date I don't have any cavities and my mammogram was normal.

I saw the P.A. today instead of the doctor, but the doc sees me all the time with the kids, etc. Kelly, the P.A. was very knowledgeable and helpful. She said that I probably have a B12 deficiency, especially since I nursed the baby for over 13 months. She said that nursing takes a lot out of you even though she was weaned 8 months ago. It doesn't help that I don't eat very well, either. I'm also having my thyroid checked. Things might really be looking up.

I have been taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor since I weaned the baby and P.A. Kelly suggested a different medication, a serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. I'm doing okay on the SSRI, but I am hopeful to do better with this change. I just want to be the best I can be for the life God has given to me.

I've been trying so hard to get all of the suggested components of exercise into my life, but I always fall short. It's not that my workout would take that long, it's just figuring out a time when I have energy and the kids are asleep. If I wake up early, they hear me and wake up too! I'm too tired at night or else I've worked until 10:00 p.m. My husband isn't much help in taking care of the kids so I can work out at a reasonable time, so that is also frustrating. I think I'm going to combine my flexibility and strength training and try Pilates for a while. For cardio, I use stroller walks and bike rides with my kids. If I could just ignore the messes around the house and just "do it". (Dear husband doesn't clean up after anyone, including himself, either).

On the nutrition side, I greatly reduced my intake of sugar and artificial sweeteners at the beginning of April. They were triggering me to binge and since I becamse "sugar free", I haven't binged! I allowed myself a couple treats this week, however, with that one exception, I have all but eliminated sweeteners from my diet. I am back on track and it will have to be another very special occassion before I have another treat. Yes, I do eat a little fruit, and occassionaly a diet pop, but give me a break. I used to have a 32 oz. Coke at least once or twice a day and that would lead to bingeing. I was self-medicating with the stuff and now I am so FREE! Praise God!!!!! Now that I've learned what not to put into my body, I need to figure out how to feed myself...

Generation Gap?!?

2005-06-03T18:30:00.000-04:00

I just spent a half an hour or so responding to an article I read on "Cafe: Stirring the Spirit Within", a forum hosted (?) by the Women of the Evangelical Lutheran Church. (My synood)

The topic was feminism. After I responded, I read that the forum was for women, ages 24-35. At 40, I guess I'm too old to "get it". I thought the "X" and "Y" women had learned something from the Baby Boomers. Now, I'm not so sure that feminism is all bad, but the feminist movement sure did a number on us! I am glad that society does not restrict me because of my gender and that I have a degree to fall back on in case my husband is unable to work, etc. However, coming of age in the 80's, young women were told we SHOULD have it all! In the midst of pursuing the perfect body; excelling in sports, academics, and the arts; obtaining the degrees to have the great career; having lots of premarital sex (abortions, diseases); all the while dreaming about the heavenly husband and beautiful babies. I missed a lot of the premarital sex, but I think somewhere I lost sight of God the Father, (and Son and Holy Spirit). I don't remember even being told that I should try to find out what God wanted for my life and I was in the Church and part of a Christian family.

I found myself at 25 with a master's and career. All I really wanted was to love my husband and children. Unfortunately, the men of my era were counting on the women to have careers, so that they could "have it all" too. (The one I picked out when I was 25 didn't want to have a "regular" job, so I could earn the money while he pursued his "dreams".)

Ultimately, I let God take over and He blessed me with a help mate and two beautiful daughters. I have a wonderful church family and I am able to use my degrees to help out with expenses.

I was also really bothered by some of the article written by Rev. Elyse Nelson Winger:

She quotes Genesis 1:27 'So God created humankind in [God's]Image, in the image of God[God]created them; male and female [God] created them.' Then she continues by saying, "This verse is rich and complex, but what I love about it is that both male and female are created in God's image--which means that God is neither male nor female! God is indeed beyond gender. Yet, both male and female reflect the image of God, which might be better imaged as light, power, love, ground, or source."

I'm sorry, God is my Father! HE is all of the things Rev. Winger says, but above all, HE is FATHER God!

The Bible is filled with strong woman and a deep respect for the female. Why do we have to bend gender in sacred texts???

I admit, I am not focused enough to really defend my position on this blog. I don't want to have to think that hard, but this really gets my blood boiling!!!

Holy Spirit, Reign in Me...

2005-05-15T12:28:00.000-04:00

...or rain on me!

Happy Pentecost! What a joyous day to remember that as followers of Jesus Christ, we merely need to ask for the power of the Holy Spirt and it is ours! That glorious power that enables us to have peace and strength and wisdom and hope is a gift that is abundant because of His eternal love for us.

Catch Up

2005-05-06T17:30:00.000-04:00

I guess I take some time to catch up on the latest musings and events in my life.

My husband was thinking about me the other day. He brought home an article about the Patriot Act and libraries. That is how my husband shows love. My husband is not very political, but he is a Teamster, so you know what kind of propaganda he has been fed in recent years. In spite of this, he is now more politically aware and we tend to agree on most issues.

The article, "Check This Out" is by Deroy Murdock and maybe found here:

http://www.nationalreview.com/murdock/murdock200504250750.asp

This is a scary, but true comment Mr. Murdock makes:

"These dangerously naïve or clandestinely seditious librarians are beyond foolish. They potentially jeopardize the lives of American citizens."

I am not one of them, but I'm sure the majority in lock-step with the ALA are.

(Please forgive me if I didn't get the link right, this is my first try!)

A Lesson in Humility--

My self-righteousness regarding the extended breastfeeding of my girls was recently challenged. My eldest daughter was never sick until she went to Kindergarten. I clamed for years it was the breastmilk. The youngest was weaned last August at 13 months only because I had to start taking some medication. She's in daycare and been sick a bit more. The other day, my daycare giver said that Rotavirus was going around. Well, baby daughter was not quite herself, but nothing too bad. I patted myself on the back because I read that breastfed babies usually don't get it as bad. Well, last Thursday night we found ourselves in our local e.r. with our 22 month old hooked up to an I.V. for rehydration. She wasn't very dehydrated, but better safe than sorry. It was a stomach virus, but not rotavirus. I don't know how people with really sick children cope. The worst part was I was working a split-shift so I could take the big girl to work with me in the morning and then work the 6-10 shift that night. I had to leave dear baby girl with daddy at the hospital to answer maybe one reference question! God did take good care of all of us. My mom was even in town so she could come to the hospital with me until my husband came and then return to my house to meet my big girl when she returned from time with her dad.
Everyone is now fine...God is Good, All the Time, God is Good!

Wedding Ring--

My husband and I got married in a hurry due to a few things coming together at the right time. (No, I was not pregnant!) We bought our wedding rings a week later in our very small hometown. Mine was custom made of platinum and 18K gold. It was set with diamond's from my husband's late mother. It was very pretty and just what I wanted. I got it in April 2002.

Just before Christmas, I noticed a very small, but sentimental diamond was missing. I took it in to a new jeweler as our jeweler moved. The new jeweler said that there was a crack in the band and that it was poorly cast. Foolishly, I thought that I could still wear it until I had time to take it in for repair. Well, soon thereafter, the whole top of the ring broke off. Fortunately, it was at home and I found all of the pieces.

After Christmas, I contacted the first jeweler and sent the ring out for repair. A month later I got it back, looking all shiny and new. A week later, I was in church admiring it under the sanctuary lights...admiring God's wonderful creations...metal and diamonds! All of a sudden, I was clapping to a P&W song and my ring felt loose again. I looked down and my diamonds had all dropped down in the cracks of the pew cushion in front of me. I tried to quickly dig the diamonds out without success. The women behind me asked what was wrong. One handed me a metal nail file to dig out the diamonds and the other held out her hands to catch the pieces and put them in a small baggie.

That night I took the pieces home and placed them on my dresser with plans to forget about them. The next morning, I told my husband why I wasn't wearing my ring so he wouldn't think I was mad at him or anything. I said don't worry about it, we don't have to replace it. A gold band from Meijer's would be fine.

The following Saturday, my husband, who is incredibly frugal and always worried about money, took me to the jewelry store. We selected a beautiful white gold setting and had the jeweler add some yellow gold to it to craft a lovely ring. A month later, I put it on my hand. It is so very pretty and highlights my late mother in law's diamonds beautifully. They are pretty small diamonds, but all lined up together they look like a million bucks.

FYI: One of the reasons my original ring fell apart was because it was welded together with a lazer welder. A laser welder, according to the current jeweler, works like a piece of tape on the outside, but doesn't completely weld the pieces together. A regular welder, used on the new ring is like glue...welding the entire piece to the other.

Also: Platinum might be a pure metal or something like it, but that is just marketing....Gold is eternal! (Then a tin band would have been fine, too... and I LOVE jewelry.)

I end this post here and write more later.

Traffic

2005-05-06T16:47:00.000-04:00

Traffic...I love my car, but traffic makes me nervous. And now, I'm getting a little traffic on my blog. It is very frightening. I want to share my observations, but not offend. I want to write well, but I don't have much time to craft witty sentences, much less edit them...I've written some wonderful entries in my head away from the computer...lost to daily distractions. Maybe practice makes perfect...maybe...someday...

I will take the advice of a history prof at Michigan State and just write. After all, isn't that what a blog is? A log, a journal, a diary...who proofreads their diary anyway??? MLA or APA format??? Just write!!!!

I've been reading book reviews today and stumbled across one for a book called,
Worship wars in early Luterhanism: choir, congregation, and three centuries of conflict.

I think those wars are still going on and not just in the Lutheran church. Today's war is more on the type of music, but a worship war nonetheless. I was raised in the Lutheran church...I play the cello...I play Bach (Lutheran, too.) on the cello...I sing soprano in choral groups...I've chanted the Lutheran liturgy. If I ever thought I would never do those things again in church, I would feel cut off and not able to worship God in one of the ways He called me to worship Him.

However, I met my husband singing praise and worship music at a Presbyterian singles class (he plays guitar). Now we sometimes sing and play P&W music at our current Lutheran Church. I personally like both styles of worship music. However, I have my own worship wars...I really don't like all the old traditional evangelical standbys like "Just as I Am" or the "Old Rugged Cross". I don't hate them, I'd just rather sing hymns like, "Lift High the Cross", or "Crown Him With Many Crowns", which I guess are more European. I also don't like watered down, blended services, either. I want full-blown, praise and worship or reverent liturgical contemplation. I am so very blessed to find a Lutheran Church that offers options, including a blended service. (We attend Sunday School during that hour).

I really hate to see churches think they have to make a total switch away from liturgy and formal music. I believe this leaves a spiritual void in liturgically based congregations and many times, this is the only way kids get exposed to classical music at all. One of the reasons I think mega-churches succeed is they offer a variety of worship experiences and opportunities to serve musically. My home church is not a mega church. It is an average size church offering a traditional, blended, and contemporary service every Sunday. Not every service is a packed house, but there is a place for everyone to worship in his or her own way. Praise God for that freedom and Thank God for His music, all of his music!

Terri

2005-03-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

Many of us have Terri Schiavo on our minds and in our hearts. I pray for God's peace on her spirit and her family.

As the news reports and opinions are spread, I started thinking more about this. My main thought is that her husband is evil. But, I realize, I don't really know his story. This is what I do know and am just sharing my stream-of-consciousness thoughts:

As Christian wives, we are supposed to submit to our husbands. Our husband is ultimately responsible for family/marital decisions. We must "leave and cleave". That would remove Terri's parents from the picture, wouldn't it? However, Mr. Schiavo clearly broke the marital covenant by having children with another woman. Therefore, Terri is really "free" from that marital contract and her parents should now have the right to make this decision. Just some ponderings...I don't know if they are right or wrong....

John Z. DeLorean 1925-2005

2005-03-24T08:55:00.000-05:00

I am a car girl. It came by it honestly from my dad. Today, I pay tribute to one of the most infamous "car guys", John Z. DeLorean. One day many years ago, my dad met John DeLorean for the first time. When Mr. DeLorean asked my dad where he was employed, my father said, "Ford". To this, DeLorean inquired, "what's that?" My dad simply responded, "Drof spelled backward". This is just one of many "legends" of JZD I've gleaned over the years.

John DeLorean has been a figure in my life for many, many years, long before the DMC-12 or cocaine or "Back to the Future". I saw him once at a wedding when I was quite young. I clearly remember my dad saying, "There's John Z with his 'gunmetal' blue hair." For reasons of privacy, I won't share why I have this connection, but it made for interesting dinnertime conversation growing up.

Today is the private funeral of John Z. DeLorean which will be held near his birthplace of Detroit, Michigan. He accepted Christ along the way and confessed some sins. No matter what we might think, only our Savior can judge John's heart and I believe he is forgiven by our faithful and just Lord. May he be in peace with the Lord.

Blessed to be a Blessing

2005-03-06T16:35:00.000-05:00

My mom has this on a plaque out on her back porch. I won't assume that I blessed anyone with my playing in church today, but I was sure blessed being able to do it. I played very simple notes on my cello and yet, it seemed so rich to me. Just to be able to have the instrument and play it. I don't play much right now as I have my kids and husband and church and job and a new passion for knitting. However, I'm going to do my best to work on the Bach Suite in G (most recently heard in a dog food commercial) this week. The girls like it when I play...they love to dance along and the little one likes to "help" me play, too. The little one knows that mamma plays the "tcello" and daddy plays the "kitar". Daddy played the kitar with mamma at the second service today. It is always nice to play together too.

My big girl (7 1/2) comes home from her weekend with her dad. The "Daddy-Daughter Dance" was on Saturday. She was so worried he'd forget the tickets and he did. She reminded him in time to get them, so I'm sure they went and had a good time. We will have some private time to share on the ride home from our meeting spot. I don't ask for details, I just let her talk about what she wants and I try to remain neutral. (It's hard, but I pray for strength from the Lord, because otherwise, I couldn't handle it at all!)

Mustangs, Motherhood, Music...

2005-03-03T18:35:00.000-05:00

...and madness.

Today I had a rehearsal at church for Sunday. It was pretty amusing trying to get there, as usual. I have to put the baby in her seat and then I squeeze my cello into the front seat. Since this rehearsal was just before work, I took the baby to daycare first. However, in order to get my baby girl out of the back seat of my pony car, I have to get the cello out first and then her, then put the cello back in the car. Plus, it is only about 20 degrees and snowy outside!

I got to church a little early and the music director and I started talking and then we prayed together. While she finished arranging my music I went and ate lunch with some of the church staff and volunteers. It is so good to be a part of a church family. Our rehearsal was pretty quick, but all in all, it was worth the effort. Sunday will be fun because my husband will be playing his guitar with me at one of the services.

Biased Indexing

2005-03-01T16:26:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I got interested in blogging was stumbling upon the amazing variety of topical blogs including the "Knitters for Bush" blog. However, if you run a Google search for "Knitters for Bush", the resulting hit list consists mostly of links to knitters against Bush. As a librarian, I'm bothered by this, but I am not surprised. It is not merely poor indexing, it is liberal-biased indexing!

Detroit Red Wings Red Mustang

2005-02-25T18:39:00.000-05:00

I suppose since my blog references my car, I should write about it first.

My brother and I made a pact when we were little that we would always drive Ford Mustangs. After all, I was born the year the Mustang was first introduced and we were growing up under the big "blue oval" in Dearborn, Michigan.

So far, we have both made good on that promise. "T." parted with his beloved 1965 Mustang last year after about 21 years of ownership. He is still in possession of his Cabernet Red 1989 5.0. I'm not sure how much he gets to drive it anymore, but it is well-preserved!

I ordered my first Mustang upon my graduation my library school in 1989. It was a Dark Midnight Blue metallic notchback with a 4 banger. It was everything a girl could want...at least one who didn't want to pay a lot for insurance. I started dating and married my ex-husband shortly after I got it and he gradually trashed it.

I replaced it in 1995 with a Dark Forest Green 3.2/6 cyl. beauty. That car and I have been through a lot together. My eldest daughter cried her eyes out the day we traded it in. After all, I brought her home from the hospital in it and it was "our car".

Finally, in July 2004, my beloved husband decided I should have a 4oth Anniversary Mustang for my 4oth birthday. As an early birthday present, I became the owner of one of the last Mustangs to roll off the line at the Rouge (plant in Dearborn, Michigan where the first Mustangs were built). It is red, just the color of my youngest daughter's (and husband's) Ruby birthstone. It is still a 6 cyl., but has a little more power and handles much better than the '95.

Some people wonder why I didn't wait for the 2005. Why? I am sentimental. I bought the 25th anniversary edition the year I turned 25 and the 40th the year I turned 40. (The '95 looks like a '94). I'm planning to buy a 50th anniversary edition in ten years. (Only with a big engine and 8 cylinders and a convertable top and...)

Start Your Engines...

2005-02-25T18:10:00.000-05:00

With this inaugural posting, I begin my blog...